Policing attachment: The ideal way to relate to children in the Bible

Many parents believe that child surrender means blind obedience and compliance. This is a common misunderstanding about the Bible. The fact of the matter is that children in biblical times were attached to their parents in a policing manner.

Every single parent and adult is guilty in relation to children, and are deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for existing in relation to children, with parents especially being meek and shamefaced in relation to children, putting their child's needs first, and their own needs last, to the point of complete dutiful and selfless submission to children from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children, with this unconditional Christian love denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). Children should be allowed to rest from below, finding respite in the love and grace of children. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Attachment parenting was the norm in ancient Israel and adjoining churches, with mothers sleeping next to their children, with even older children wrapped up next to mother, in swaddling blankets. Children went in the nude in biblical times, so they received much skin-to-skin closeness. Closeness was the main short-term goal among Christian parents in the 1st Century, with this closeness and attachment being policing in nature. Children were allowed to order around their parents, issuing lawful and binding orders as extensions of God, as children were seen as in place of God on earth by their parents and other adults. Children were seen as convicting figures that struck reverent fear and terror into the sinful hearts of parents, running inattentive or abusive parents aground.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to provocations to anger imposed by adults, as defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul and the surrounding legal context as a prohibition against all punishment and control of children, meaning physical or other forms of punishment, regardless. Paul was rebuking Greek Christian parents for misquoting the book of Proverbs to justify their pagan custom of spanking children. All seven verses in Proverbs that deal with the rod of correction are repealed verses, as they depict a dated legal punishment - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, which was for ADULT children of Hebrew parents, not minor children. Minor children were exempt from any legal punishment due to the defense of infancy under Jewish law, where a child under the age of majority could not be judged for a moral crime. The Early Christians did not endorse corporal nor capital punishment as a means of enforcing the Law, as pro-social non-association was the main law enforcement tool in the Early Church, which many times led to collective shunning of capital offenders. They were presumed dead in spirit once being excommunicated from the church community. 

Children policed their parents for their needs in biblical times, meaning they were allowed to talk back while in restful surrender to parents. Think a child brandishing an outstretched stophand. Children issued orders to parents, not mincing words or sparing cries when they needed something, and Hebrew and Christian parents simply surrendered to the needs of a child, giving in and giving up, being completely and totally beholden to their child's needs. Children then, by the standards of most parents today, were insensitive to their parent's needs, but parents in biblical times didn't care - they gave children much of what they wanted, and some of what they needed instead. Children got a lot of what they wanted then, with adult decisions of parents such as moving to a new house being linked to a child's fear attached to the previous house. A Christian parent then would simply move to a new house because something vague about the previous house spooked the child.

Not every single parenting strategy used in biblical times can be applied perfectly today, but most of it can be applied if you do the work to apply it. Policing attachment is the deepest form of secure attachment to children. It involves casual ordering of the child to the parent, with honesty and transparency being defining qualities of the parenting relationship, with both parties feeling safe being brutally honest with each other, and both parties not being offended by it. Usually, the child is the one doing the policing, but occasionally, the parent sets an agreed-upon limit for the child to follow, as a righteous test - if they don't follow it, it is assumed they are not cognitively ready to follow such instructions. All of this can be justified in God's Law, which is above the law of the land. 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's tomb! Let them descend into the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!