Reverent rebellion: Why childhood rebellion should be excused

Many parents believe children have a rebellious nature, and many gentle parents think children are inherently good. Children are naturally rebellious, and that is a psychological fact, if you see things in terms of power structures. Children demand their own way, and the only way to deal with childhood rebellion is to appease it.

Reverent rebellion is part of the doctrine of mutual surrender in parenting. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to trust in parents. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you come to a roughly better translation. However, this is a special form of trust borne out of maternal warmth and sustenance. This means open, honest trust, leading to open communication, where a child can demand what they need from parents, without mincing words, and parents bearing the brunt of childhood rebellion, appeasing children so that they don't take over and seek to overthrow parents. Children were seen as extensions of God in ancient Hebrew culture, meaning they were seen as signs of God, and their orders as to their every need were to be appeased as is the case with God. Children then got most of what they wanted, and some of what they needed as well. Parents in ancient Israel and adjoining churches saw needs as conflated with wants, meaning wants pointed to needs, usually attachment needs. When a child is being demanding in the store and asking for everything, maybe they just need to go for a walk and spend time with you. Stuff is associated with the hand of a parent, meaning it comes from YOU therefore stuff from YOU reminds them of YOU, because YOU got it for them, and they remember that you were charitable enough to give it to them. Most childhood behavior was ignored, in fact, in ancient Israel and adjoining churches, and was seen as a phase, not something that would last forever.

Rebellion should never be counter-acted with punishment, but should be countered with unconditional Christian love that is surrender to children. This is stated in the negative in vs. 21, with the Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" being ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to any provocation to anger, meaning all offenses against children, with "offense" defined as the slightest of offense perceived by the child, meaning any unmet need that the child petitions for that you refuse to provide or reassure. This was intended by the Apostle Paul to prohibit all punishment and control in parenting, including any punitive parenting, with this including any corporal punishment of children. Paul was admonishing Greek Christians for their tradition of spanking and punishing children, with attachment parenting manuals accompanying the Epistle delivered. Paul delivered this commandment from prison, and also had the attachment parenting manuals assembled from prison. The attachment parenting in the Early Church was exemplary in nature, passing down the Living Example of Christ, but since Christ was the only perfect parent, earthly fathers and mothers need to work on self-discipline and self-control in parenting, meaning parents are entitled to nothing, but should be grateful for their children, as was the Living Example of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.

Rebellion was seen as inherent of a child's temperament in biblical times, but in a doting, understanding way. Rebellion was to be appeased by the parents, not punished or kept down, meaning children were going to rebel in some way, but at the same time, parents were to be charitable in a way that lessened the need for the child to rebel, with parents earning the closeness of their children, yet allowing for open communication, and allowing for their leadership to be questioned. Parents weren't authority figures then, but were simply leaders of their children, with them leading children to their needs some of the time, and other times children leading parents to what they need. Parents bore the brunt of the petitions of children in terms of needs or a redress of grievances, meaning "I hate you" from a child simply opened up a conversation as to why the child hated parents, with parents asking as to what they could do better. Children could say whatever they want to parents, and talk back even, and parents were not to "clamp down" and punish their children.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!