Righteous demand: A cornerstone of true biblical parenting

Many parents in this country like to make demands on children, and in most homes who have my conservative Christian family values, parents are the ones making demands. In biblical times, it was in the reverse - children demanded from parents.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, warm rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest securely in the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Respect for parents in biblical times was closeness in the form of a secure bond between parent and child, leading to admiration and fondness for parents later. Children could tell their parents anything, talking back and telling parents off if they felt the need to, demanding things from parents, petitioning for a redress of grievances to parents, with parents heeding all childhood wants and grievances by bestowing needs. Parenting in ancient Israel and adjoining cultures was attachment-based in nature, with children being in the nude all the time in biblical times, so that mothers could easily bond with their children with skin-to-skin closeness, with children up to age 3 being seen as infants and treated as such behaviorally and in terms of breastfeeding. Fathers played a key role too in children's development, meaning by giving spiritual encouragement to children, not punishing them for making religious mistakes, but guiding them gently in the right direction. Children had the right to righteous demand, meaning the child demands, then the parent supplies, then the child rests happily and gratefully with parents, leading to trust and fondness in parents, with parents expecting absolutely nothing in return. The Greek root word translated "parents" is γονεύς (Latin: goneus) and refers to parents not in the tense of authority figures, but as leaders of their children, meaning they lead their child to what they needed, or else parents were lead by their child to their child's needs. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, as in the Jewish idiom "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotional welfare. This ultimately refers to offenses against children, meaning the slightest of offense perceived by the child, stemming from entitlement. This included any physical or other punishment of children, including spanking, whipping, and other forms of punitive parenting. Corporal punishment only existed in the Old Testament as a sentence for crime, and that is what the verses in Proverbs were describing - in order to get a second chance at life, as all corporal punishment was a summary punishment for a capital offense, you must endure 40 minus 1 lashes, and be grateful at the end. Only adult children were whipped by their fathers, with the father being an accessory to the court. Corporal punishment was a rare occurrence in the Bible, meaning only once in a lifetime in any given settlement. All corporal and capital punishment was abolished by Christ on the cross by way of Him enduring it. The Apostle Paul was simply uplifting the Law to members of the church community at Colossae of Greek descent. Parenting in the surrounding Hellenistic world was punitive in terms of nature, whereas Judeo-Christian parenting was attachment-based in nature. Paul would have none of it, and would not tolerate punitive parenting in the churches he oversaw. He gave the command to avoid offense in relation to children, and laid down the law for the gentile members of the Colossian church, handing out parenting handbooks charging parents to be securely attached to their children, by way of teaching discipline and selflessness with the Living Example of Christ.

Children are the "least of these" and an extension of God as such, convicting their parents as such, striking reverent fear and terror in parents. Children make righteous demands towards parents, and parents channel the child's rambunctious and energetic demands towards them, with parents providing for those demands, with then children resting in the love and grace of parents.

Children naturally demand needs by crying or making verbal demands when they are older, and every single time they demand something, they need something. It may not be what they are demanding, but somewhere closely related. When a child is engaging in behaviors that beg for attention, give them attention, but in the right way. Walk with them with arm embrace, without punishing them at the end, having a nice talk, hanging out with your child, spending quality time with them. That's usually all they need. Behavior is communication, and the most common need communicated through behaviors is attention, of varying sort. Verbal or physical defiance is telling the parents "stop hovering over me", in which case, perhaps you are being too pushy, and the children are reacting to it. Defiance in particular, meaning blatant defiance and not reverent rebellion (natural questioning of parents and petitioning for a redress of grievances) is due to a child being controlled and thus counter-controlling parents. Leave control out of parenting entirely, and you avoid most defiance. Other behaviors, such as causing mischief, is because children didn't get attention, felt bored, and so they, perhaps, made a mess in the kitchen. 

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let the evildoing parents burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let the parents descend into the abyss of Hell and torment, with God rearing His anger toward the parents that do evil towards their children! Corner the punitive parents by winning the many of them over, then vacuum up the remaining parent trash up with the Great American Justice System. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!