Many parents want respect from their child, yet don't earn it. They do not understand the biblical concept of respect for parents. Respect for parents is a biblical concept, but is something that is earned from children.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, warm rest in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest securely in the love and grace of Jesus Christ, with children being able to confide anything into parents, fearing no punishment or reprisal towards parents. Respect for parents means closeness to them, leading to admiration of parents later in life. Parenting in biblical times was attachment based, with children as old as age 3 being breastfed and treated as infants behaviorally, and children co-sleeping with mothers in the nude up until adulthood. Children demanded, then parents supplied the every need of their child, then children rested in the love and grace of parents, with parents being safe people for a child's energy and rambunctiousness, channeling it towards them. Children could tell or confide in parents about anything, including any stressor, upset, or frustration, and parents simply listened like a counselor would.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers literally to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, meaning the Jewish idiom of "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotions. This refers to offenses against children, meaning the slightest of offense perceived by a child, including the physical and mental punishment of children, or other forms of punishment or control, or any permissiveness or negligent treatment. Anything that offends the child is abuse. The Apostle Paul gave this commandment to all of Christendom because Greek Christian parents spanked and punished their children, as was Hellenistic tradition. Paul would have none of it in the churches he oversaw as a deacon. The rod of correction was an instrument of legal correction used on ADULTS who committed a capital offense, and did so habitually, with many warnings counted against them. A whipping was considered an epic, once-in-a-lifetime event that was seen as a second chance, if you could endure it, because after that, all that testified had to put the offender to death, as well as all those who testified on his behalf. In the New Testament, the Law was followed strictly by Jewish-Christians, but not by gentile Christians, and the harsh punishments of the Law were abolished by Christ by Him enduring harsh capital punishment. The Apostle Paul handed out attachment parenting manuals teaching parents to emulate the Living Example of Christ to children, treating them with the same example that emulates how you want them to treat others when they are older.
The role of therapist is a parental role, in biblical terms, meaning you listen to your child by hearing out their upset, giving advice rarely and only when necessary, otherwise leaving them to sort out their own problems, figuring out morality themselves, guided by your shining example as an extension of Christ in the home. Be the change you want to see in your child, in terns of self-discipline and self-control. If you want them to be controlled and disciplined, first discipline yourself. Respect for parents is closeness to parents in a way that respects their Christian example, by way of fondness in a parent that doesn't punish or control. Parents should listen to their children, meaning in a way that children can tell parents everything, even things that might not be understood by most people, not fearing any punishment or reprisal from parents. It is surrendering to parents in terms of honesty, meaning saying whatever is on your mind to them as you feel safe to, with parents being safe people to vent to, even when petitioning for a redress of grievances.
The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Let them descend into a Hell of fire where they will be tormented forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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