Back talk: Why it is actually allowed in the Bible

Many parents believe that children are disrespecting them when they "talk back" to parents. This is a common attitude among American parents, and it nonetheless in error biblically, meaning contextually inaccurate and unbiblical. Children were empowered while surrendering to their parents in biblical times.

In the Old Testament, the Fifth Commandment said to honor parents. That was written to adult children who were old enough to be accountable to the Law, not minor children. This command ultimately forbade a form of elder abuse, with a common form of abuse of parents being sexual abuse by way of sending them on their merry way, which needed its own law due to being so rampant. The rest of society scoffed at the complaints of parents, blaming them for their own abuse, basically in terms of role modeling, which was part of parenting then - the prevailing stigma against accusations of elder abuse was that the parents modeled the behavior, thus they must have been abusive first. The courts were backlogged then with elder abuse cases, and could not be concerned with an adult child "talking back" to their parents. Children could not stand trial in both criminal and civil court, as they were not of age yet.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in the New Testament repeatedly, including in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, warm rest in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest and trust in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you get a more accurate translation. This is a close, intense form of trust in parents, borne out of maternal warmth and sustenance, with children trusting parents in an open and honest way, being able to talk to parents about anything, surrendering their true selves to parents, being themselves in relation to parents. Fathers also played a key role in raising children by encouraging the child on going the right way, all without punishment or controlling attitudes towards children, with parents loving their children unconditionally, in the Agape sense (GRK: αγαπαο), with parents being convicted with reverent fear of a child's petitions for needs and redress of grievances. Yes, you can talk back to parents, and you can really get your frustration out on them, and they are simply a sounding board. Parents are to listen reflectively and in a validating way towards their child's complaints and petitions of all kinds, and children don't even have to mince words when speaking to children.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers literally to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, as in the Jewish idiom "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotional welfare. This ultimately refers to provocations to anger imposed by adults onto children, meaning offenses against children, with offenses being defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child. This command was given by the Apostle Paul as a command against physical or other forms of punishment, threats, or menaces in parenting. Paul was rebuking Greek Christian parents who followed the Hellenistic tradition of spanking children, with Greco-Roman society condoning the use of force on children, and Roman law providing a legal defense known as patrias potestas, or "power to the father" which translates to "power to the parent" in today's post-feminist world. Paul would have none of it in the churches he oversaw as a deacon, and gave the command that lifted up the Law on punishment of children, which was seen as kidnapping in the Old Testament, thus a capital offense. Corporal punishment in biblical times was only administered to adult children of elders, and only as a sentence for crime preliminary to a death sentence, and consisted of 40 minus 1 lashes from the rod of correction administered in a courtroom (NOT a family home, ever). No minor child could be ever be whipped by a father because they could not stand trial, thus were exempt from being convicted of a moral crime. No capital or corporal punishment existed in the Early Church, as Christ suffered both forms of punishment in order to abolish it, fulfilling the Law. 

Talking back was allowed in the Bible, and children regularly hounded their parents for what they need, perhaps crying, screaming, or even hitting or being aggressive, because they did not have the proper words to get what they needed from parents. Children in biblical times usually got their way with parents, and petitioned for their needs and a redress of grievances, convicting their parents of their every need, striking reverent fear and terror of them, being an extension of God to be feared and revered by parents, with parents fearing the incurred wrath of children when considering their needs. In biblical times, parents were there for the child to say anything to, and order around, petitioning and demanding things from parents, not mincing words.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through shutting down opposition will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!