Many parents do not want to be questioned, yet they want to be respected. They demand respect from their children, and the type they are not deserving of from children - unquestioning obedience. However, the Bible allows for children to question parents in accordance with the doctrine of reverent rebellion.
It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, being able to be oneself in relation to parents, telling parents anything and everything under the sun without fearing punishment, with parents channeling the rambunctiousness and energy of children towards the presence of parents, with parents sacrificing for their children in the spirit that Christ sacrificed for His children, with parents expecting absolutely nothing in return. This Greek root word here ultimately uplifts the Judeo-Christian parenting traditions in the Bible, which are attachment-based in nature. Children went in the nude all through the biblical context, and this was for mothers to treat them with skin-to-skin contact. Children up to age 3 were behaviorally treated as infants, with children co-sleeping with their mothers at night up until adulthood, with mothers and daughters being inseparable until the daughter reached adulthood. Children were allowed to "talk back" to parents, as a form of reverent rebellion, meaning demand needs from parents and petition for a redress of grievances, holding parents accountable through their reverent rebellion, ruling parents from beneath. Respect for parents meant being honest in a way that parents respected your honesty about, perhaps, an issue in the relationship.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, referencing the Jewish adage "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotional welfare. This was a clear command from God through the Apostle Paul to oppose spanking and corporal punishment, as well as any punishment or harshness in parenting, with abuse then being defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived from the child, stemming from entitlement, or wanting things for or of a child to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child, leading to the offense deemed abuse. The rod of correction was used on young adults in the Old Testament, but only as a sentence for crime, meaning 40 minus 1 stripes with a tree branch in a courtroom, with the state appointing the father as an accessory called to punish and chastise his errant son, and save him from death, as death was the next step after whipping him. Christ abolished both the death penalty and corporal punishment by enduring both when being crucified, and the Early Christian church did not use capital or corporal punishment, except physical discipline when agreed upon by spouses, rarely. Discipline was seen as holding others accountable to the Law, whereas children were under the grace of parents. Paul handed out parenting manuals that instructed Christian parents in a form of attachment parenting based in the Living Example of Christ, where parents imparted a Christ-like example to children, being charitable and generous to children in a sacrificial way that modeled Christ's sacrifice for His children.
Children were allowed to talk back to parents in biblical times, and it was expected then that children would rebel a bit, and order parents around in a form of policing attachment, with policing attachment being the most common form of secure attachment in the Bible. Children demanded needs, and parents supplied, like a vending machine. That's how reliable Hebrew mothers and fathers were at providing for their children. Children had every right to "talk back", as respect was shown by level of honesty towards parents, not the reverse.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend forever and ever into the Hell of fire and torment! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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