Rule from beneath: What is policing attachment (and why that is God's ideal family setup)

Many parents want to make the rules, and rule from above. This is a common wish among parents, with parents. In the Bible, children instead ruled from beneath, convicting parents in a burning manner that struck them into terror, and then caring action. Policing attachment is a child, especially an older child, lawfully ordering around parents around as to their needs, with parents being passive and compliant to their child's needs, resigning to their fate as parents. That was the most common form of secure attachment in the Bible. Yes, the biblical context, meaning ancient Israel and adjoining churches, was attachment parenting culture.

The doctrine of mutual submission prescribes secure attachment, and that of the policing variety at that. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "child" is τεκνον (Latin: teknon) and refers to dependence in parents, just as mature believers are dependent in the Lord, referring to resting in the care of parents, just as mature believers rest in the care of the Lord. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, coming from sacrifice for one's child, in the spirit that Christ sacrificed for children; taking up the cross for children, in the spirit Christ took up the cross for His children; martyring oneself for one's children, with children rest in parents, having freedom in the shelter of said parents, expecting absolutely nothing in return. This word ultimately uplifts the Judeo-Christian parenting traditions of the biblical context, which was attachment-based in nature. Children in that culture were demanding, and were afforded much freedom, including to order parents around as to what they need, with parents being struck with reverent terror, convicted by the tears and big emotions of their children. Children demanded what they wanted/needed, and parents provided, or else diagnosed an unacceptable want with a related need, supplying the seemingly endless demands of a child, resigning themselves in worldly submission to their child's every vulnerable need, with the child being a lawful extension of God (Matt. 25:31-46), resting in the care of parents in an outspoken way. Child nudity was legal, and that is because children snuggled with their mothers, who were also unclothed when in the home.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" and refers to ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, referencing the Jewish adage "stirring the pot" in terms of the child's emotional well-being. This was a direct command from God through the Apostle Paul prohibiting corporal punishment, and all other forms of punishment and harshness, in all of Christendom. The surrounding Hellenistic culture of the Colossian church supported corporal punishment strongly. Jewish culture then did not, and Christianity then was an extension of the Jewish faith. Paul uplifted the Jewish command not to provoke one's neighbor to anger, referencing children as one's neighbor. Paul also handed out parenting manuals educating parents about attachment parenting, and how it is the norm in Hebrew homes, with the type of attachment parenting he recommended giving children much freedom, with discipline and teaching being exemplary in nature, with parents being giving extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing and taking up the cross for children, in the spirit that Christ was a martyr for His children. Parents are to put out a specific example to children, and that is one of sacrifice and martyrdom for the smaller person, and that starts by parents being of good service to children, sacrificing for them and their needs. This allows for children to be outspoken in demands for needs, and a petition for redress of grievances, having the lawful authority to order parents to get what they need from them, using parents for their own good, with parents rejoicing in the toil and hardship of parenting, grateful for their children. There were two components to Christian parenting then, the example of the Lord and the instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), with example being the primary teaching method, alongside non-violent closeness to parents, with instruction being rare and backed up with loving and concerned supervision, not punishment.

Children were very much outspoken in ancient Judeo-Christian, meaning they ordered their parents around, and their parents passively listened to their children's needs. Parents then most certainly felt a burning, convicting tug from the child's crying and whining, alarming them that a child needed something. Parents in that culture fully accepted their children, and fully submitted to their needs. Children ruled from beneath, and had a lot of influence in the major choices of adults, including where to live, and even how they wanted to be raised by their parents.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!