The word "no": Why parents should NOT mean it

Many parents think that punishment is necessary for good parenting, and that parents must punish as a command from God. The concept with authoritative parenting "experts" such as John Rosemond and Diana Baumrind. As a child, I was burned by "democratic" parenting, in which the "democratic" part was simple virtue-signaling on the part of my parents (there was no "democracy", only autocracy), because there were punishments I wasn't cognitive ready for. Punishing a child is a sin. The word "no" is necessary in any home, but should be a rare event, backed up by nothing but allowance.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, with children demanding their needs and a redress of grievances, and parents supplying for such, with children being their true selves in relation to parents, being able to say anything and everything under the sun to a parent, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents, but with children nonetheless giving back in terms of gratitude and thanksgiving by way of listening to and obey parents. The Greek phrase translated "in the Lord" is ἐν Κυριῳ (Latin: en Kyriō) and refers to the moral fact that children should not listen to parents "because I said so" but because the Lord wants them to, and they submit willingly, usually when they are older. The Greek root word υπακουο uplifts a historical context where attachment parenting was the norm in Hebrew circles, including those that made up the core congregation of Christian parishes spread across the Near East. Hebraic attachment parenting promoted intimacy with mothers especially to the level of nudity, with skin-to-skin contact being used as a means to earn the trust of parents, and respect of parents. Child nudity was legal in all settings, public or private, and this was for mothers to easily bond with their children, holding them close in skin-to-skin contact. Infants as old as age 3 were swaddled to the bosom of mothers when mothers were out and about, and held close while mothers themselves were in the nude, with this being the building blocks for trust and respect in parents, with children many times co-sleeping with parents into adulthood, with parents being safe people that children eventually listened to and obeyed, with obedience in that context feeling like a little tug or nudge away from what is unacceptable or unfeasible...This imagery expresses, in pictorial form, the sheer closeness between parent and child. 

The word "no" should be refrained from except in circumstances where it is necessary and feasible, and there can be no compromise made. Even with younger children, you can reason with them by offering them choices, and mean it - whatever they choose is their choice, and if they come up with something up feasible, add that to the list of choices and go with that. The Greek root word translated "admonition" in vs. 4 is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the admonition of the Lord, meaning God's loving lecture and negotiation, meaning sometimes "no" means "no", and that is that, but most of the time, you can negotiate with your child and come to a reasonable conclusion, especially when they are older, but also when giving children choices. Usually, the word "no" should be used in safety situations, and usually for later, not now. They will protest and cry, and go right back to where it is unsafe, in which case you need to keep an eye on them as a parent, and babyproof your house (ex. baby gates, covering electrical outlets, etc.). A child who goes right back to a forbidden activity does not know or understand why they are being told "no", so watch to make sure they are safe. That's all you can do. Leave most childhood behaviors go, as they will grow out of them in due time. Give it a few years, based on any developmental issues or disorders they may have (ex. ASD, ADHD, Bipolar disorder, etc.). The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, meaning self-discipline and self-control, especially in fathers, but also in mothers, by way of restraining one's from aggression when a child is throwing a temper tantrum, going the opposite way of one's parental aggressive tendencies (i.e. physical/verbal, sexual/pedophilic), instead forcing yourself to treat children with kindness and charity, and then the more you treat children with respect, the more respect you are to children, and then everyone else. 

This is all weighed by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and literally translates to "bitter anger" or "embitterment", referring to harsh parenting that embitters children, which was intended by Paul, and understood by the church community in Ephesus, as a ban on all punitive parenting, including corporal punishment, as this was an idolatrous, pagan practice brought into the church walls that Paul was cracking down on in several churches, serving God in the process. With the delivery of the Epistle to the Ephesians, Paul included secular pamphlets further delineating how attachment parenting should be done as a Jewish tradition, with the Christian church then being an offshoot of Judaism. Basically, the slightest of offense perceived by a child, coming from entitlement, is child abuse, thus sin. Entitlement is denoted by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to the attitude of "I am a good, loving parent/adult to children, and so I deserve respect" leading to seeking to impose said attitude onto a child, leading to abuse by way of offense perceived. Anything that the child perceived as abuse objectively was, especially when backed up by one parent or both...No adult truly means well around children, and any adult who claims to mean well all the time is who is to be suspect as the abuser of children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn and suffer in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!