Mutual respect in parenting: Why this is actual biblical parenting

Many parents demand respect from children, and punish their children when they don't receive the respect they want. Most parents do not respect their children, and hate their children, due to their punitive ways. Children should, ideally, respect their parents, but parents should respect children first.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "children" is τεκνον (Latin: teknon) and refers to dependence in parents, just as mature believers are dependent in Christ. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest and trust in the love and grace of children, coming from sacrifice for one's children, in the spirit that Christ did for His children; taking up the cross for one's children, in the spirit that Christ took up the cross for His children, martyring yourself in every aspect of parenting, shamefacedly and humbly rendering yourself a caregiver or servant...and then children rest in the sacrifice and care of parents, showing gratitude and thanksgiving by way of emulating the example and teachings of parents, with parents being an extension of Christ, giving themselves up for their children. The Greek root word υπακουο ultimately uplifts a biblical parenting context that is attachment-based. Child nudity was legal everywhere in ancient Jewish culture, including 1st Century Christian culture, and there was a reason for that - mothers, who were also unclothed in the family home, would use skin-to-skin contact, with young infants up to age 3 being swaddled to the bosom of mothers, and older children co-sleeping next to mothers until adulthood, particularly girls, as mothers and daughters are inseparable, and also mothers and sons at a younger age, before they went with their father to be homeschooled. Girls were also homeschooled in the Early Church when they showed interest, and church leadership actually encouraged gender equality (see Gal. 3:28). Children shared their true emotions for their parents, with parents bearing the brunt of the emotions of children, with children not being punished or kept down for anything, reverently rebelling towards parents, with parents encouraging rebellion in the form of questioning parents and keeping the caregiving powers of parents in check by demanding needs and parents diagnosing based on an assessment of said demands. Children played freely then, but while not leaving the sight of mothers. 

The Greek root word translated "parents" is γονεύς (Latin: goneus) and refers not to authority, but leadership or headship. Parents were extensions of Christ, meaning were to sacrifice for children in the spirit that Christ did, turning oneself in to the needs of one's child, just as Christ turned Himself in to His children for a crime He didn't commit, paying the ultimate price in way every parent should be prepared to in order to protect their child. Parenting was martyrdom in terms of glory, meaning everyone honored parents for how they sacrificed tediously for their children, expecting absolutely nothing in return from them. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally translates to "stirring up" upset or resentment in children, referencing the Jewish idiom "stirring the pot" in terms of your child's emotions, ultimately referring to the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child. This was a command from God through the Apostle Paul prohibiting all forms of punishment against a child, including corporal punishment. Paul handed out secular attachment parenting manuals alongside the delivery of the Epistle to the church gates. These manuals warned that any punishment was kidnapping in the eyes of God, calling for parents to be the sacrificial lamb for their child, and to be as gentle as one. Pedophilia and sexual attraction to children was seen in the pamphlets instructing Hebraic tradition as a part of parenting, but a very negative one, meaning it is mentally unhealthy to be attracted to one's child or a child, but it was tolerated as an open struggle, not a closed one, meaning sex with children was seen as vile and damned fornication by the Christian community then, worthy of death even as Christ abolished the death penalty by enduring it. But, simply having a connotational attraction to one's child elicited "safety-first" advice once found out. Sexual abuse was the main form of abuse in Hebraic circles, whereas Greco-Roman parents were very punitive, hence the need for uplifting the command to not provoke your child to anger, implied in the Old Testament as an offense under the Eighth Commandment. Offenses could be anything that the plaintiff, including a child or their parent representative, perceived as offensive, and any offense perceived by a child is child abuse under natural law, despite what the physical law states.

Respect is earned in parenting, and that requires that parents martyr themselves in relation to children, being Christ to them just like Christ was a sacrificial parent to His children by taking up the cross for them. First parents surrender, then children surrender in return as a means of giving thanks and honoring parents for all that they do, running to the shelter of parents for warmth, comfort, and freedom. A parent who is abusive does not deserve forgiveness until they apologize and it can be discerned, by way of non-verbal apology, that they mean it, and even then, forgiveness is simply stating "I accept your apology". Nobody has to trust their parents. I respect my parents because they respect me, even beyond the grave (my father passed away). My mother does so much for me, and agrees with me on parenting, so I respect her. Obedience is a concept in attachment parenting, and is a tag-along type of obedience. You might want to grab something from the fridge, but instead, you just tag-along and forget about it, because you don't want to hold mom up. I chastened myself up in the Lord, in the support of my parents, who support my faith values despite maybe not agreeing with them fully. That is how respect works. You give respect to get respect, and that is the rule as a parent. My father, in another state where he was abusive, would state it the opposite way. No, children cannot be expected to respect a tyrant.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive attitudes will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let the parents burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death, which is Satan's final resting place! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!