What to do about tantrums and behaviors in public

Many parents do not like taking their children out and about, because they often "have to" punish their child for their behaviors in public. Most all children have some sort of behavior in public that the parents find embarrassing.

Some of the most traumatic of abuse I endured took place in a public place, including one incident at an Aldi store that is now closed here in Berks County, Pennsylvania, in which case everyone sided with my late grandmother, and none with me, as she victimized herself in that regard. She later changed her view on spanking, in a way that I admittedly was never fully grateful for until now. The idea of adults rushing to the assistance of a parent or similarly charged adult, punishing the child for being a child and defying things as kids do, is abuse, and this often happens in public. I don't care if a child is screaming or upset when they are tired or worn out - just one more thing, and it's the last straw for them. I take offense when a parent is clearly combative and disobedient towards the need of a child.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, namely listening to and validating a child's upset, being calm for them in a pro-social manner in a manner that involves reflective listening. Basically, this is centering oneself as a parent in a child's upset, doing the opposite of the entitled and violent means you want to do, while modeling the same self-control when a child is upset. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to limits and boundaries, namely the occasional word "no" and its various variants. Many times, especially with younger children, such as toddlers and preschoolers, the word "no" is pointless because they don't understand what is wrong even when explained, and so usually you let kids run around the house, and then hold their hand or put them in a papoose bag once they leave the house. This all is weighed out by the Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to "bitter anger" and refers specifically to the moral crime of provocation of your child to anger through parental entitlement, and this referred to the offenses in the legal context of the Bible, meaning the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of personal touch unwanted by the child, meaning the Bible in two places, Eph. 6:4 and Col. 3:21, prohibits spanking and corporal punishment, including in a public place where 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to providing custody in relation to children, meaning parents provide for the every vulnerable need of a child, including attachment needs, with parents supplying the every demand of children, more or less, with children being able to be themselves and demand anything to parents, owing absolutely nothing in relation to parents, yet nonetheless showing gratitude and thanksgiving by listening to parents due to trust in parent and not punishment, and also emulating their loving, chastened up example for children.

Children tantrum usually for one reason - to grieve what they can't have. Tantrums are not bad behavior, meaning it is normal childhood behavior, and doesn't involve children "willfully defying" or "willfully undermining" parents, or in the case of public venues, "trying to embarrass parents". All children, not just a few with special needs, when they are young, like to predict their environment, and when their environment changes suddenly, such as in terms of parent's wishes or instructions, the child becomes upset and cries, and the idea is to show children God's loving mercy, meaning listen to the cries of children, do not react, but respond with empathy, perhaps giving a gentle instruction AFTERWARDS as to why they couldn't get that toy bicycle, perhaps saying "I understand how much you want that bicycle, but you'd then have to ride it on the sidewalk, which is illegal" and if they went back to crying, or else whined, they won't get it until they are older. This is how both mothers and fathers did it in biblical times, with a mother often holding a screaming and crying 2-year-old to her bosom, breastfeeding the poor child. That is how God's loving mercy was implemented then, so that's how it should be now. If they are ever throwing tantrums, regardless of age, they have not grown out of the need to be soothed that we all by now know an infant has.

Picture the mother holding the upset child close, and the father giving encouragement too, from a distance usually, but still close enough to hold a child's hand and maybe read an older child some reassuring Scripture - that was the image in biblical times. Boys especially were naturally interested in theology, and fathers quenched this need in both sexes in the Early Church.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive or permissive treatment will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn and rot in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for the evil one and his accomplices! The depraved and entitled parents shall descend endlessly into the abyss that is ever-lasting Hell-fire! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!