What is the role of parents versus children in discipline?

Many people think being a parent is like being the police. Authoritative parents fantasize about being "good cop, bad cop". Many parents think disciplining a child is like training a dog, and many even liken it to such. However, parents are not supposed to preach, but to listen.

Colossians 3:20-21 KJV states:

Children, obey your parents in all things, as is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to trust in parents, meaning secure, vulnerable rest in the care and safety of parents, being able to be oneself in relation to parents, being able to tell or disclose to parents anything, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents, yet nonetheless listening to them not out of fear, but out of vulnerable trust for parents. This is a result of Christian love for one's child, meaning submission to the every vulnerable need of a child as their enemy, seeking to be their friend, sacrificing for them just as Christ sacrificed for His children, giving himself up for his children without asking anything in return, rendering oneself as beneath the child, serving and ministering to a child, humbling oneself with shamefacedness and understatement, with children being extended by God as the "least of these" (Matt. 25:31-46). The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to the offenses, namely the torts and damages under the Law, which includes assault and battery offenses with protections directed towards children.

Biblical parenting, in truth, is not about getting children to listen, but listening to children. Obedience means confiding into parents to see if it is safe to listen to them. Parents are to sit down and listen reflectively, like a sounding board, to their children, giving advice when wanted by the child. The child also tells parents what to do in terms of needs, with benign wants being seen as attachment needs.

Discipline is for parents, not children. It says in Hebrews 12:11 KJV:

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

The Greek root word translated "chastening" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, meaning self-discipline and self-control in parents, in a manner where children are listened to and validated. The Greek root word translated "grievous" is λυπέ (Latin: lupé) and refers to emotional pain and grief from having to deal with children, in a way that centers you and strengthens you.

Parents are to listen to children, before expecting the reverse. The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn and rot in eternal damnation! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!