Why not to have expectations as a parent or caregiver

 Many parents have expectations for their child. Most do, in fact, expect things from your child. I don't expect anything from a child. Not even respect. I have preferences as to where my child would go, but not expectations. Expectations come from entitlement.

The Tenth Commandment, in Exodus 20:17 KJV, states:

Thou shalt covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet my neighbour's wife, nor is manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

The Greek root word translated "covet" is לחמוד (Latin: lachmod) and refers not simply to wanting things from a child, but wanting to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child, leading to theft/abuse, with theft including legal damages imposed on the child, as is further repeated in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Larin: paideia) and here refers to co-regulation, meaning parents modeling self-control and chastisement, while listening and validating a child's cries for nurture and warmth, as oppose to ordering them to stop crying. It is a centered, yet warm and caring state in relation to children. I am not an excitable person, meaning I am rather calm most of the time, but a child could pull some playfulness out of me for sure, namely with this including running around in an open space, constantly talking about her favorite subjects, etc. The Greek root word translated νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to setting limits and boundaries with a child, namely though the word "no" and its various variants. Correction could not include violence or entitlement of any kind, as the Greek root word translated "provoke...not to wrath" is παροργίζω (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to legal damages inflicted onto children, which could be a sting of pain from being struck. Basically, the minimum threshold for pain is the level of pain felt from a needle pin, imposed onto another person, including a child...Parenting then was attachment-based, with punishment being rare and for adults only, meaning an adult who knew what they were doing, and either defended it or else didn't care.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and, again, refers to wanting things from children to the point of imposing said want on a child. Yes, this is an expectation imposed on a child. The goal, as an attached parent, is to have none. Just friendship with the child, and the adult being the unequal one, charged with responsibility towards the child by God in the form of providing custody.

Here is one speech diagram

Don't say: "Clean your room!"

Instead say: "Could you please clean your room"

Sometimes, a reason for a request is necessary, which case say "We have visitors over tonight. From work"

Sometimes, they won't do it, because it doesn't get done. So, literally get up, and close the child's door, and literally clean around the child's room, including in your room - where you shouldn't enslave your child to clean. There, parents, a spotless home for your co-workers to show up, and you didn't whine about any of that, did you?

Expectations are forceful hopes for your child, meaning a want as to action that is imposed on a child. "I want you to..." or "I expect you to..." are most always abusers' statements, as the parent is trying to control. Once the child is offended by this course of conduct, it becomes abuse, as whatever the child victim perceives viscerally as abuse, is such according to Divine Codified Jurisprudence.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!