Strong-willed children: Understanding them and biblical ways of discipline for them

Children are very diverse in terms of personality and profile, meaning every child is different. Some children tend to have a stronger will than others. I myself care about the rights of all children as an advocate, but have a special affinity for strong willed children. Generally, when a child is angry with me, I a startled and stunned, meaning embarrasses and shamed for doing something wrong.

Such children come in many shades of severity. We say "severity" for a reason - the most severe of strong-willed children suffer from a mood disorder known as childhood bipolar disorder, and most "rapid cycle", meaning one hour they are energetic to the point of perhaps pointless running and screaming to hopeless statements, usually about death and dark subjects such as that, the next hour. Children run on a spectrum in terms of struggle. Some children might just be very moody...None of this is an excuse for child abuse.

Ordinary children with a strong will may not have a mental disorder, but may simply have genetic traits for psychopathy, meaning the benign, pro-social type found in, perhaps, an activist for a certain cause that is fully motivated to bring about change. We call such advocates pro-social psychopaths, and they were like that as children, most likely.

How to approach such children. Start out much like all children. It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother: For this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in then nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refer to compliance not out of fear but trust, namely secure attachment. It is like an open file folder, with the parent able to just page through, and you not only don't care, but feel safe with parents, but only parents pretty much, having that vested authority. It is complete and total accountability and surrender to parents, linked with parental submission and surrender to the child's needs, in the form of Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the rod of correction in symbolic form, as understood in that context, which was simply a two pronged thread of non-binding righteous judgment, with the longer prong referring to encouragement, and being known as the rod of pleasantness. Parents in ancient Hebrew culture focused on the good, pleasant things about their children, and applauded and praised them, cutting them breaks for being children. The rod of severity was simply defined by the word "no", but was backed up only by trust and attachment, not punishment. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργιζο (Latin: parorgizo) refers to child abuse, meaning the slightest of personal slights perceived by the child. Anything a child perceives as abusive towards parents or adults objectively is.

The stronger the will of the child, the weaker the limits. The concept is the counterwill, meaning that a child, when restricted, will fight against adult "authority" and, many times, in these abusive scenarios, adults inflict punishment and control in order to try and "keep down" the child. Sometimes, the abuse crosses over into illegal territory, meaning either physical injuries or PTSD from psychological abuse from parents...My lawfully abusive parents, meaning my father, did endanger me with a DUI incident with me in the car, with the DUI incident not recorded by police. A file that went nowhere sits in the county services center. 

The idea is to not limit them as much, and let them make their own mistakes, to the degree that their developmental level allows. They may be running in a way that they will fall on the concrete, but then let them fall, and be there for them once they fall and hit the cement, saying "I knew you would fall, running like that. I'm here for you, I know you're shaken up". 

Sometimes, children endanger themselves willingly, and there is no cure but perhaps to childproof the house, and barricade yourself in extreme situations. Let the kid tear apart the house, destroy property, etc. But, such a child is in need of nothing more than medication, perhaps for a mood or attention-deficit disorder. It is a myth that children never get mental illness, and this myth is steeped in mental health stigma. There is nothing wrong or shameful with a child having any sort of psychiatric condition recorded in their file - because that's all it is, and the rest is the child getting the help they need. Sometimes, even young children need medication, but it takes many trials and errors in order to find the right medication..."childproof your house...barricade" refers to a type of tantrum that only parents of a child with bipolar disorder can recognize and understand. No tears until the end. Until then, throwing things, screaming profanity, at age 8. The tantrum mimicks a seizure, in terms of its automatic nature. They can't shut themselves off. Parents are not to press charges, but seek medical means of dealing with behavior, and even avoid police contact. Some police are trained in a different way, particularly in red states, that would treat each outburst as a crime. In Pennsylvania, the police do not do anything without the parent's permission. Also, physical battery, separate from assault due to lack of injuries, is decriminalized in Pennsylvania...However, LACK of punishment, counterintuitive to what most adults believe, is what prevents these outbursts from occurring. It, from the inside out, is the desire to beat your parents back, in the moment and not in adulthood, because you are THAT offended by the direction you are given as a child, so you mimick them when lashing out at adults, thus they are dishonored by their own example being emulated, meaning their fault by leading the child astray. They are punishing you for being punitive, and sometimes, they corner you in a way that you have no choice but to give up the fight and become a gentle parent. Even then, certain children need medication, and also psychotherapy compatible with gentle parenting principles.

Not all children who are willful have a mental illness. With anyone, child or adult, it becomes a mental illness when it interferes with your quality of life, or the quality of life of those around you, or else the life and limb of you and/or others. Mental illness is a medical condition, and children aren't immune to it, and they can suffer from it much like an adult does. However, at the same tine, not all children need a label, or do they need medication...Some children are so strong-willed that punishment will do absolutely nothing, meaning it won't even appear to work. 

There are different degrees of willful traits in a child, with one end being healthy and endearing, and the other being a mental illness of varying degrees, and able to be treated by medication in most cases. No child deserves punishments or controlling behavior from adults. LET THE PARENTS BURN!