Having a pedophilic child - What is it like?

 Many adults project their guilt over abusing children over to pedophiles, instead of taking responsibility for themselves. Many fail to recognize that pedophiles are marginalized, and the most marginalized are, in fact, children. Many of my fellow advocates do not recognize them as children as a form of childism/adultism, and when those views are voices in a meaningful way, the traumatic adult advocating child abuse against a pedophilic survivor child will be banned/blocked. Do not attack me that "you were never a child" because maybe you weren't because you punished your child in the past, but I won't stoop that low. I take the high ground in such exchanges, exposing my parent opponent.

Many here simply say they'd be more strict with such a child, and I can tell that they have no child with such a diagnosis or mental health issue. If they did, they'd be more relaxed about it with THEIR child, but maybe not the creeps and perverts you see in the news. They'd know the truth, but would have to keep silent - pedophiles, by the clinical understanding, are victims, whereas peacekeepers mimick their appearance in abusing children.

What is it like in terms of pedophile behavior problems? Train cars. Talking idealistically about "my love" to parents, in pointless rambling. I may want to see her, but she's likely way out of my league. A child is way out of my league, being so high up for being so oppressed by society, so treat her like a normal gentle parenting adult, meaning listen and validate. I didn't know that as a teenager.

It was like flipping open a canister, meaning the canister is pro-social natural. You have the guts and the courage to just be yourself, but you retreat into yourself in, say, the store, in a way that keeps others from being offended, yet shows your true colors, good or bad. If I stare, it will be noticed. My gaze goes unnoticed generally, with the girl simply ignoring me, having a life of her own.

Behavior problems are different than with most childhood disorders in that children with the disorder tend to be very active in removing inappropriate behaviors towards children. It is an antisocial parent, like they all are antisocial, but a parent, when willing, will turn its protective instincts against themselves. That's what I did...and that's gentle parenting conditioning. It is learned instinctually, not by planning out a treatment plan.

It isn't an explosion, except maybe of tears, in most cases. In my case, I kind of stuttered when admitting to myself to my mother that I was "one of them", but then fixated on the topic in an unhealthy way. The idea is not to fixate on specific children enough to go seek them out. "Seek them out", as a drive, is adult sexual entitlement. Pedophilia is simply the strand behind the entitlement, and, in and of itself, is meaningless. Pedophilia is deep enough in someone's psyche that it need not be considered entitlement if it is so low that it won't come out at a child - connotational pedophilia (my case). I see my pedophile as focused in the eyes, not anywhere else, with this meaning I often like what I see, especially with the days getting warmer. Just notice, then move on. Let the thoughts fly by, because when you try to repress thoughts like that, they become stronger. It isn't the thoughts that bother me, but the hypothetical chance that I might abuse a child, which I know I won't, which I might quietly take pride in my self-improvement. I'm simply a convicted adult, and my parents and treatment team helped with that, as did many here by sharing information about how children actually develop.

Typically, such children will only tell a gentle, non-violent parent, as our parents are the most likely to give an understanding response. Understanding means not understanding, and admitting it, then asking questions. It is listening and validating, like a sounding board. Being supportive to someone with this condition is not hard, meaning anyone with empathy could do it. Stigma involves special protocol in agencies such as children's rights movements, law enforcement agencies, and so forth, coddling the pedophile in a controlling way, assuming the pedophile has no concept of trauma. Many times, they are fully aware of their trauma and test as trauma trust narcissists. There are many layers to the stigma, but the outright prejudice seems to be in conservative/fundamentalist circles who oppose strongly a ban on spanking. Christian pedophiles are tolerated, but kept in a trench. Atheistic pedophiles, who make up the majority at Virtuous Pedophiles forums, are completely left out of society. Many times, the fact that their prayers to God to remove "this affliction" that end up unanswered are enough for them to say "god molested me by giving me this sickness". Yes, but if you are that terrified of harming a child, you are the last person that would ever lash out at a child. They say this about people with Pedophile OCD at VirPed, but that's true for the self-hating members as well. An abuser hates others, meaning every single person around them, and the whole world around them, in a repressed way. Most pedophiles show, if you know what to look for - the depressed young teenager who doesn't hang out with peers, but spends ample time with young children, and has never had a girlfriend. If they simply are friends with the children, and don't demand things from them (parentification, etc.).

However, the stigma starts with parents who aren't understanding of their child's condition, and lasts throughout their life. My parents accepted me despite having such a condition, meaning my mother probably forgets I am a pedophile until I bring it up - what I seek out here. Most pedophiles are not happy people, and there is a clear reason why. The children's rights movement in the United States is improving in our understanding of the pedophilic condition. Most people here know about non-offending pedophiles, and tend to tolerate them as long as they don't encroach here. It is something that most here don't give much fault, but nonetheless they know that non-offending pedophiles exist. Most ordinary survivors take a live and let live attitude towards VirPed, with the official position basically being "we can't help you, because you are so oppressed". I think pedophiles can easily be lay people, but not all pedophiles are cut out to be child advocates, and most at VirPed want to be left alone, but want assurance that I won't be harmed by survivors. Give them that assurance, because even if I do get a whole bunch of nasty comments, I'll just pro-social ignore them, no matter who sends the trolls. I do not feed the trolls. Just not a good idea.

Yep, some of us are well off. Gentle, non-violent parenting cushions the mental health stigma concerning pedophilia. I wish every pedophile had parents like I have. I think most gentle, non-violent parents would be understanding when confronted with a disclosure from a child, but most who say they would cut an exception haven't been in that situation as a parent. You sure accept your child, meaning talk about attractions to children become normal household discussion, but you still hate the child predators and sexually entitled adults who prey on children. You see them as separate from your child, as your child likely is the type to be snatched up whole by such a defiled predator. Yes, this condition can be treated just like any other disorder a child could end up having.