Childhood bipolar disorder: Why punishment does not help these children

 Childhood bipolar disorder is bipolar disorder diagnosed as a child, meaning while under the age of 18. It often involves rapid cycling of the child's moods. Many people know about these children. Property destruction is what they think. Many say "that child really needs a good whipping". Actually, that is the wrong way to go. I have the disorder, and it is medicated. 

Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise. May it be well with thee, and thou mayest live well upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender and rest prompted by the parent's surrender themselves, and turn themselves into the child's vested authority over her need and best interests, including attachment needs. This is Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to submission to the every need of a child as their enemy, knowing that one has wronged them just by being an adult

The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: admonition) and refers to the rod of correction as understood as proper parenting in the Early Church, meaning a thread of non-binding fork judgment, similar to a therapist's judgment. The stronger prong was based on encouragement, meaning parents are to be encouraging, with the rod of severity then was understood as simply stating a boundary or limit to the child, namely saying "no" but perhaps finding more polite ways for that limit. The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the discipline of the parent in relation to the child, known as co-regulation. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is παροργίζω (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to the definition of child abuse under God's Law, which is any personal slight perceived by the child, namely any attempt to control whatsoever. 

Proper discipline starts with the parent, and ends with a controlled, polite child. It is about being polite to children, and using good Christian manners to them, saying "please" when you want something from a child, and "thank you" when the child gives parents what they ask for. True exemplary instruction is like a two-way window, and understanding that can help us understand their behaviors and how to deal with them as parents.

This literally is the trigger for a child with bipolar disorder when having rage attacks - adults arguing with them. These children may "debate" parents on issues, usually related to children's rights. Think an 8-year-old cross-examining her mother about what the mother said that triggered an outburst. It rage that interrogates, using torture tactics on the parent. Usually, this is the child punishing their parents for punishing them, meaning if you slap a child, they won't care - they'll slap you right back even harder. 

Parenting in the biblical context was more relaxed, meaning that is precisely what a child with this condition needs. The more willful a child, the less strictness they need in terms of limits. The idea is to have it so the child is strict with herself, and self-disciplined, as opposed to having a parent be overhead and controlling them like marionettes. Parents were servants to their children, in an attendant way, meaning they were always right there for the child, and vice versa. Ancient Israel was an attachment parenting society.

Certain children absolutely need gentle parenting, and every other method doesn't even appear to work. It blows up in the parent's face. My parents are/were gentle parents, and my father died a gentle parent that was converted. The large reason my parents submitted to God and child was because that was the only way to work with me. With such a child, you don't focus on behavior expectations, at all. You dimmer down expectations, and expect them to be adversarial and be willful, and don't punish them for it. If they attack you, submit to their attack, namely pro-social punching bag. Let your tears be theirs, as their form of tantrum does not allow crying until the last moment of pure rage. 

It is not a pleasant feeling for the child either. True moral instruction can only exist after medication. Otherwise, children don't know right from wrong, and you punish someone who knows a certain act is wrong, and yet does it anyway. You cannot sin without intent, and thus children are incapable of sin, because they can't form the intent, which requires foreknowledge that is assumed as absent in an individual under the age of majority, and/or an individual living under the domiciliary custody of their parents. A child with this disorder needs extra slack, and extra space for their energy, to the greatest degree possible, until they can be medicated.

With some disorders, talk therapy alone will help. With this one, nothing will help without medication. Therapy is only productive if the client is willing to work the program. If they don't want help, nothing can be done. The focus becomes on personal safety and avoiding hazardous "daredevil" stunts. Such children may do things like jump off of lower level balconies and onto cars, screaming in the process. In adults, many times, the person with the disorder, at least in their manic phase, is the individual making YouTube videos doing stunts, having high tire trucks, or doing wheelies on dirt bikes in the city. Those types of individuals have the disorder, pretty likely.

No child is deserving of or in need of punishment. Children have an instinct to defy control from adults, known as the counterwill. This is an innate human instinct that the more an individual feels coerced, the more they fight back. Thus, punishing the child is getting into a battle of wills. This type of child punishes the parent back.

I had the disorder, and I can remember the rage attacks and meltdowns, in a cubby. One word made me feel powerless, usually the word "no", and I snapped, going on a blind rampage, wanting my mother to feel my pain - that's who I targeted, because she was a familiar person to empathize with my anger and pain at being an oppressed child. I demanded she "turn the other cheek" and feel my anger, being sad for me instead of being controlling by my perceptions then (not today's)...It isn't a pleasant feeling, at all, and you hide it from those close to you. Mood stabilizers such as lithium carbonate alongside antipsychotics can quell the disorder entirely. Yes, the disorder comes with creative traits, but you can indulge in them even better once you are medicated, as you have more control over your person. Medication makes anything you do even easier to do. You can see things more clearly, but have the same expertise that you had before. You become a psychology narcissist, and delve deep into what you missed out on while covered by the disorder. The disorder itself is the narcissist.

Punishment only made things worse, meaning the more I was punished, the more punished back. In physically abusive homes, it is a desire to beat the parents back, to show to them what they did to their abuser. It is counterwill, to the extreme. These kids are the opposite of "help-y", meaning they don't want anyone's help, and shrug everyone off. They can be jumpy at certain things, have strange fears. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them BURN! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!