With my cousin: What actually happened (and why it is abuse)

 There are legends about what one child advocate here in the children's rights community about how I relate to my cousin. Many of them exist, mainly on the dark web, where I have a cult following that I like to distance myself from, to say the very least. 

The view many must have of me must be very grim, shady. Picture a windy, rainy day in Iceland, and you get the tone. A loser, goes to arcades for fun even as an adult, has no "real friends", and complains all the time about how lonely he is, leading to offenses against his cousin somehow. The idea is that someone like that suddenly discovers the Canaanite half of the biblical context - the non-existent context - and then tries some things on his cousin, in an attic, where there is a TV. But, oops, lost the footage. Something did happen, and if the issue was handled right, there would have been some police action concerning the subject, if I had my way (at least today).

What happened is categorized on the list of forms of abuse on the dark web, on the children's rights web - antisocial "rough-play". This is basically, in this case, an older teenager - 16 - violating the personal space and boundaries of a younger child, who was around age 12, in which case the victim finds the course of conduct to be intrusive. This is abuse, in and of itself, and there's no need to lie to make a statement (as the women did, then bought into the grooming lies complete). A group of sleazy men, some members of my family, recruited others and said "the survivors know where the blog comes from, and someone like him could be abused by those very beliefs, so get him out". Think big, football-player types, imposing their narrow understanding of masculinity onto a man like me, who sees strength in self-control, and discipline of a patient sort, as well as abstinence from all sexual activity until marriage. I can take a few hits and dents from survivors. I'm not weak enough to go nuts, and if I do, I'm not weak enough to be embarrassed...Ultimately, it was using a child's testimony to throw her under the bus, for the boy, and bring as many people onto their lost cause as possible to oppose me as an advocate, meaning the rights of children, meaning both altogether.

What should have happened with that police report? It should have been simply taken by the desk sergeant, then filed, then a patrol officer warning my mother of everything. She would not have been a happy camper, I'm sure. The idea behind such, under Pennsylvania law, is that if I were to repeat the same crime or a similar crime, I would be cited for harassment, a $300 fine, and the more I challenged the fine, the greater the risk of prison. 

But, there must have been some rape, they insisted, and went out of their way to prove rape, specifically. I am a male that is capable of rape, but more date rape, and any man that is entitled in this regard would not admit this. I did not commit any rape, and I do not wish such on anyone, including my cousin. There is no need to project rape except to satisfy adult sexual entitlement towards a child. 

Adults should believe children, but at face value, not what they wanted to happen, happen. What my cousin described - "rough-play" - was what happened. After she got up, and walked down the stairs, I felt bad, meaning embarrassed. That was stupid. I consider it a form of abuse due to the visceral reaction of shock and panic from her, which shocked me.

Most people here think "nothing happened, just being a teenage boy" or "he is a rapist, so don't be so naive". The truth is somewhere in the middle. Because the police did not press the right charges, other charges were filed that could never be proven due to how outlandish they are, and besides, my cousin did not want the authorities involved at all (which I have self-interest in, admitted so not to speak over my cousin). I was an adult in that specific context, in the sense that she was younger, and I should have known better.