Having pedophilia: Understanding what treatment is like - who to answer to

I myself am a pedophile. Easy for me to say, in fact, but I keep the truth guarded in my hometown of Reading, Pennsylvania. Many people misunderstand what treatment is involved in terms of pedophilic clients. Having this condition involves answering to somebody, as we all need to answer to somebody in life - children. As should every adult. 

Every single adult, by default, has a depraved sin nature, and is guilty of the moral crime of existence in relation to children, and is to surrender their power and control over children, or else be subject to eternal Hell-fire, which is the second death. Love for a child is submission to their every vulnerable need, knowing how entitled you are as an adult, and how you know absolutely nothing about the perspective of children, thus assuming nothing about a child. This leads to bondservice, paying off debts for adult existence, expecting absolutely nothing in relation to children.

What does this mean for me as a pedophile? We all, as adults, are capable of abusing or harming a child, and this includes obvious, as both the liberal and conservative media, but especially red news that I might side with on other things. The media has perpetuated a big lie that pedophiles "cannot help themselves" and thus "need special support". Give me a break. We can do so just fine. Just talk to the ones society never hears from. A pedophile can simply choose not to abuse children, and 3 out of 4 pedophiles already make that choice quietly. Quietly meaning like any adult should...I'm simply loud and proud about my choice to not abuse (in a martyrdom fashion) to prove that it can be done, by example.

I actually, in real life, avoid children to the level of speech, meaning I do not even speak to them, as I am a conversational narcissist to a child, and thus may pester them, to the point of annoyance, and the slightest of annoyance perceived by a child is abuse, and when I defend my right to talk to the child, entitlement leading up to such abuse. Thus, defending my right to even speak to a child is entitlement, meaning deadly entitlement. 

What I have internalized is that I am evil, depraved, and worthless merely for having power and control over children, which I abdicate for them. Thus, I am to want nothing from them, meaning I can ask a child for something, but if I will throw a temper tantrum for them declining my wish, I am entitled, and if tantrum offends them, abuse. If they have to defend themselves, as it would likely be begging for negative/positive attention, it would be abuse (parentification/spousification). I must ask, and use polite Christian manners, when requesting that a child do something as little as make me a glass of water, because I am not even entitled to that from them - the reverse, in fact.

Treatment is about finding your own answers, and is a self-motivated parent, in nature. It is a parent turned inwards, meaning a gentle parent by the profiling definition. Pedophiles have to become gentle parents, usually on their own, in order not to abuse children. I have the guidance of a support system, namely a therapist, psychiatrist/specialist, doctors, and my mom. These are merely people to go up and talk to, pull out, not push in, in  terms of therapeutic instruction. Like any other parent, advice may bounce, meaning I refuse to listen to you, then listen to you behind your back, and then thank you later for the advice. That's how I was for my therapist. It isn't an adversarial relationship, but more seeing mental health professionals as advisors to seek out, as with supportive family. Generally, it is a distant relationship, with the pedophile being motivated to do a lot on their own, in terms of not harm children...My case is one of many pedophile success stories you may hear over the Internet and elsewhere, alongside many, many others where pedophiles have been abused by religious abusers, from the teenage years on up. I came forward to my parents, but by then they had switched to gentle parenting, and my disclosure hastened my father's change of heart. Parents become your best friend in these cases, meaning you can tell a parent anything, and just know you'll never be punished. The only exception would be "mom, I went on the wrong website" in which case she'd lock up the computer in some way or another, and I'd deserve it for violating her trust like that.

My mother was in denial when she heard about my mental health condition, thus not encouraging at all. The chorus was "lets wait a few years". They both were shocked when I told them they were understanding, because they felt like they were in uncharted territory. Admitting that at all, when supporting someone, is all you need to do in order to be sensitive, and then you end up letting parental instinct kick in. It's called selective attachment, meaning "we get you, but we don't get why you're not like THEM". My mother was very protective as well about VirPed, until I showed her the screen - clearly a mental health forum - and then she was okay. I told her about the thread where everyone was concerned about my friendship with Kaylee, and told me that I was "way too obsessed". They got me right the first time.

Pedophilia is perhaps the most serious of mental disorders in terms of potential harm towards others, but, at the same time, the least serious in terms of treatment. It is not something to victimize yourself with, in terms of struggle. It is something to be proud of abstaining - a martyrdom/abstinence narcissist is what you develop, seeing your own progress. Or, you might say you develop that narcissist to survive...Maybe I'm a parent, in symbolic form, but I'll let others decide. I admit to being a pedophile, at least when pressed, to show my stripes.

The scripts have been flipped here at children's rights. No more pedophiles, meaning we took an ampersand, and seared them out of every post we write, because we have one here, and he defends the child and her rights, even above himself...We now see parents, meaning all who defend their right to abuse children, as the perpetrators. It's no longer "we hate pedophiles", but "we hate our abusive parents". I see that far more than anything even mentioning pedophiles. Pedophiles, apart from me, don't exist to many here, in terms of sensory gaslighting. Pedophiles are not celebrated, but non-offending pedophiles are okay, meaning we care about the person and not the condition as a community. VirPed is a vulnerable minority that we as a conglamorate cannot help, due to how oppressed they really are by society - a severe form of religious trauma. Little do most survivors know that even saying this, outright - the actual policy on VirPed - is what they want to hear...because they just want to be left alone, and want security that they will not be harmed by children's rights in the future. They never harmed me, and I reiterate the good advice they gave earlier in this post.