Child victimhood/parent victimization trauma: Why I became an advocate for children

 Why am I here? Many here want to know, because I am a pedophile, and identify in medical manner. Think waiting room and therapists office, and you get the scenery I associate with pedophilia. Tissue box. Suicide hotline. I focking hate that children are being abused, and focking hate their abusive parents enough to run them aground. Pro-social/antisocial domestic violence. 

I have a domestic violence relationship with all parents who identify themselves by their entitlement or abusive choices. This is because I myself have a clinical disorder, pedophilia/pedophilic disorder, that causes me to interpret trauma in a different way than most people. Suppressed generalized anxiety surrounding children getting abused within the law.

I was very frightened, scared, and alarmed about children being abused in public places, such as retail stores or supermarkets. It was scary, meaning I froze and was afraid of the situation and incident, meaning I wanted to DIE because I couldn't stop a child from being hurt by their own parents. I was scared of the parents because, at the lowest level, they might turn it on me.

A predatory pedophile would either be very angry at the parents, go in and order them around, and then "have fun" with a child after dealing with the parents, or else "escape" from life and befriend the child, hiding from the parents due to their imposing nature, replicating my abuser. In my case, I fit the latter, meaning I retreat to children from parent anger, meaning anger at parents. Shut out the world, and only focus on them. 

I needed an outlet for my anger, so I started a blog, with the hopeless and distorted view that I was the only advocate out there opposing spanking. I then found StopSpanking.org, and was thrilled! A parenting group that actually agreed with me! Spoke to my intuition! Helped me out with other issues, including pedophilia, over time! I was thrilled! Now, maybe my opinion has lessened about certain people, but I still like it here - and will like it even more once the red tape has cleared.

My trauma has nothing to do with sexual choices apart from stress level, meaning high levels of trauma meaning higher stress levels, and then I would want to "escape" to see a child, then be alone with them (in a back room or such), and then abuse would occur. I am a dating pedophile. Most pedophiles I've known are, meaning they want a child to be a boyfriend or girlfriend. Depends what level, based on the impact of the child, meaning if it a) has sexually entitled intent/spousification and b) The child is offended by the interaction (even if the adults pick out a trait, such as a profession or disability, to excuse the abuse). Any time a child feels unsafe around an adult, that is abuse. If you are visibly calling the child a boyfriend or girlfriend, and expecting reciprocation, you are abusing children regardless. Adult sexual entitlement involves demands imposed by an adult onto a child that impose sexual aggression, desire, or objectification...Ultimately, I want to retreat when I am around a young girl I'm attracted to, as a form of antisocial traumatic dissociation. Spanking and punishment is a form of antisocial traumatic dissociation.