The phrase "trying to get". It can be adult entitlement in relation to children when talking about corralling sexual targets, or simply trying to get children to do what you want them to do, against their will. I'm not trying to get a child to do something, but instead earning things from them. Wholesome things such as friendship and affinity.
It is okay to want something from your child. It is part of our flawed nature to want things from others, namely children. However, some things you cannot get from a child, such as parental or sexual gratification. Other things, you can. You can be friends with children. Grooming is instead "trying to get her to be my friend". It just happens. We just meet. The two can be blurred, but are determined by the child and her alone, as whatever the child victim perceives as abuse objectively is.
The Tenth Commandment, in Exodus 20:17 KJV:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor manservant, nor maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that belongs to thy neighbor's.
The Hebrew word translated "covet" is נמחוד (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to not simply wanting, but wanting to the point of seeking to impose said item onto a child, leading to theft/abuse. The Greek root word cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment and denoting entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to the attitude of "I am a good, loving parent, and so children owe me things" leading to demanding, controlling, punitive, or spousifying behavior around children. "Trying to get" a child to do things is an entitled and abusive attitude in a parent.
When is it okay to say "I want to get her to treat me with respect". When you mean it, meaning the opposite. Are you willing to hear a decline to that request. Are you willing to be criticized or judged by your child without throwing demanding fits? If a child's criticism of any aspect of your parenting makes you shout at them and lash out at them, you are entitled as a parent and have a domestic violence problem of the most common.
Any time, you have the specific intent to "get" someone to carry out your will, you are entitled as a parent. If you simply wish your child behave a certain way, and ask while earning said respect by respect bestowed. I can't make a child do anything, or get them to do anything, but I can ask. Ask, and you shall receive. Ask for respect, and you shall receive respect. The result is stated in Ephesians 6:1 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in all things, as is right in the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender in front of parents, leading to secure attachment and rest. I can tell my mother anything, and she'll listen. She's not perfect in this regard, meaning she can be persistent, but I don't perceive it as abuse.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive and permissive parenting will burn! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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