Many misunderstand why we lawful abuse survivors compare our experiences to that of child sexual abuse survivors. "Grooming" is generally a term used for sexual abuse cases, when it can occur in other cases. Sexual predators groom you to feel shame. Lawful abusers groom you to be high and proud, like a rowdy activist.
The dynamic in my home was up, then down in planned outbursts from a parent. These planned outbursts were spankings out of love. You knew it was coming, and you had nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide, and when it came, it went. Even worse? It was legal, entirely. Since there were no marks on my bottom, there could be no charges filed, and it was deemed "reasonable force" under Section 509 of the Pennsylvania Crimes Code.
My home was a progressive in nature, meaning both my parents were schoolteachers, voted Kerry in 2004, Obama in 2008. I was told that there were good people, and bad people, growing up, and that most people were good. My parents were Christians, but away from me, not towards me, but in a way that I was never punished for anything relating to religion. I was punished for being a leftist, and children's rights leftist at that - that's why I surfed children's rights websites. No fault of anyone then - blind to a dictator, which is why I went overseas for my diet.
It was a hot-cold type of feeling, where you had toy kettles and toy cups and the ABCs in one corner, and violence in the other. To this day, I cringe heavily at the image of a child being punished in a colorful environment, though now I am numb to it, meaning I know I cringe meaning the opposite. It is a powerless feeling, but an activated one, where you are a good person, and don't deserve to be treated in such a horrific manner by adult authority. The only thing is that such a mindset led into adulthood in the form of an anxiety disorder.
My anxiety disorder wasn't "God hates me" but instead "I want life to go my way, and I want children to have justice, and no god or legal framework exists to keep me in line". So, now I believe in God, meaning the God that wrote the Bible. I am now centered because of this.
It is a very powerless feeling, to be spanked and punished within the law, but one that convinces you otherwise. Many of us have anger problems as well, and also substance abuse issues. I myself have an adult sexual entitlement issue stemming from self-diagnosed pedophilia. I have been aware since around age 16, and have been in various services here in the Reading, Pennsylvania and around Pennsylvania, with therapy from a trauma-informed therapists.
We need to ban spanking, and lock up every parent, validating every victim. The depraved and entitled adults, in the mean time, will burn in the ever-burning lake of fire and sulfur! Call yourself a parent, and admit that to me, and that's fine, we know we're you're headed, and we can't stop you. We'll just abuse you with your religion - because you should not EVER be a Christian if you are going to use the good book as an excuse for bad things. Bad things such as child abuse, including that which is excused by the law - for now. You watch it, entitled spoogs. We're going to blow your defenses away...
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