Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents defend spanking as a so-called "right". Most American parents justify their choice to spank a child using the Bible as an excuse. Most American parents cite 5 passages in Proverbs and 1 passage in Hebrews to excuse their abusive treatment of children. However, the core of the pro-spanking argument rests of Hebrews 12:5-6. This passage in Hebrews does not even refer to any spanking coming from earthly parenting/ Heb. 12:5-6 refers chiefly to trials and tribulations sent by God the way of the believer.

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

When understood correctly, this passage is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, as is the case here. This sort of metaphor is known as rod language. If you were a Christian in the Early Church, and you had a long day at work, you instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does literally spank his children. However. God does punish His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of His children that He loves the most. However, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does, in fact, harm them.

The teaching of "biblical spanking" is a man-made teaching. God does not want His Parenting methods to be copied by earthly parents, as they could get it wrong. However, the Bible does weigh in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your children. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your children, or even stop punishing children altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, in the case of hurt feelings due to limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated as "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received in the parish at Ephesus as prohibiting any offenses as perceived by a child, at minimum. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The staple punishment in the broader Greco-Roman world was spanking to the bate bottom with an open hand. Paul would have none of it in the churches that he oversaw, convicting pro-spanking parents of offending their child. The Early Christians, contrary to popular belief, were not well-integrated into Greco-Roman society. The Christians then were ghettoized into enclaves in big cities throughout the Greco-Roman world. The Early Christians in the 1st Century even had their own courts that led internal church investigations into child abuse. 

Anger is a driving force in most parents today. However. the Early Christians opposed any anger in parenting. Instead, parenting then was guided by worry or concern, with anger pretty much only existing in the parent when parents acted in protective mode. Anger at children was seen among the Early Christians as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey - maybe the child hot some warning, but that's about it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!