Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents support the so-called "right" of parents to spank their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents cite 5 verses in Proverbs and 1 passage in Hebrews as their "proof" that spanking is biblical. However, the binding passage in the New Testament for this argument is in Hebrews 12:5-6. But, this argument surrounding Heb. 12:5-6 ultimately stands on shaky ground. There is no such thing as a biblical spanking, as that teaching is mad-made. Heb. 12:5-6 ultimately refers to trials and tribulations from God toward His children that He loves the most.

God's Word on trials and tribulations is spelled out in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to it, as is the case here. This sort of metaphor is called rod language. When you came home from a long day at work as a Christian then, you instead said "God whipped me hard today". God does not literally come down from the Heavens and whip His children. However, God does punish His children, like only He can, with trials and tribulations being sent to the children that He loves the most. But, God only punishes His children when it does not harm them, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does, in fact, harm them. This passage was intended as comfort for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome.

There is no such thing as a "biblical spanking". God does not want His Parenting methods to be used by earthly parents, as they could get it wrong. However, the Bible does touch on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking your child, or even stop punishing your children altogether for that matter. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just as hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are also inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent coming from parents, in the form of an informal apology, whenever you hurt your child's feelings with limits not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards children alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase that roughly translates to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. However, this commandment was ultimately received as prohibiting all forms of offenses or damages as perceived by the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

In the broader Greco-Roman world, the staple punishment from parents was spanking to the bare bottom with an open hand. However, it is a myth that the Early Christians were well-integrated into broader Greco-Roman society. Instead, they were ghettoized into major cities, and shunned the outside world, being otherworldly in their theology. 

Parent anger directed towards a child then was completely prohibited under Christian law in the Early Church. Most parents in the Early Church were instead motivated by worry or concern, with the only anger being allowed in parenting being protective anger. Anger at a child then was seen then as akin to a viper lashing out at its prey - maybe the child got warning before the attack, but not by much. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.