"Spare the rod, spoil the child": Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents think that the Bible says somewhere "spare the rod, spoil the child", and cite it as "proof" that the Bible is pro-spanking. However, this exact phrase is nowhere found in the Bible. The Bible does refer to a rod of correction, but not in the way you might think. The Bible is truly an anti-spanking document.

The Bible does mention a rod several places in the book of Proverbs. One example is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He who spareth his rod hateth his son: but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew word translated "son" is ben and refers chiefly to a mature adult son. The Hebrew word translated "rod" is shebet and refers to an instrument of legal punishment, in the form of a switch. However, striking a fellow adult Jew was prohibited outside of a courtroom setting, with striking a minor Jew being prohibited in all cases. This passage, and the others like it in Proverbs, refer chiefly to the 40 minus 1 lashes. The Bible specifically says this because, otherwise, the father would refuse to whip his son. Fathers were deputized by the Sanhedrin to administer 40 minus 1 lashes as a sentence for a crime.

Legal punishment with the rod of correction, alongside all of the other harsh punishments, were repealed by Christ's Work on the cross. Before Christ was placed on the cross, He was administered 40 minus 1 lashes with a scourge of cords. Because Christ experienced corporal punishment unjustly, the Early Christians shunned all corporal punishment as of this world. 

The book of Proverbs does not prescribe or mandate any "biblical spanking". However, the Bible does touch in on the spanking issue, and then some. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking or punishing your child. You need to avoid offense in children. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in adults. Just like in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in parents while dealing with children. Thus, in order to avoid offense in children, you need to give a meaningful apology to your child for hurting their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent when children cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for hurting your child's feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", then commit never to lose your cool with your child ever again, as any parent anger directed towards a child being entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, including spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Anger was a prohibited emotion in Christian parenting in the Early Church. Parent anger directed towards children was banned under the customary law of the biblical context. Anger at a child was seen then as predatory in nature, with the ancients likening it to a viper. The most displeasure a parent was allowed then was momentary disappointment. Punishment was never acceptable then towards children, for any reason. 

The 40 minus 1 lashes was a final warning before putting an errant son to death for disobeying the Law. Each offense in the Law of Moses came with a specific set of warnings, with the rod of correction being the final warning for violating the Law. After that, the offender was put on watch, and if the offender repeated their offense, they were righteously kidnapped and put to death. The death penalty was a rare institution in the Old Testament, and was done away completely with Christ's Work on the cross.  

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!