Back talk: Why to apologize when your child talks back to you

Back talk is a common problem parents face in their children. Most children talk back at some point in their childhood. However, most parents think that talking back to parents is deserving of punishment in a child. However, the fact of the matter is that a child who talks back cannot accept a limit, and thus parents need to apologize, lest they be seen as being abusive towards their children.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement, with this entitlement including any parent anger directed towards a child. The key to not abusing your child is to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you hurt your child's feelings, lest it be officially an offense. One way children show emotional pain is by talking back. Back talk happens when children cannot accept a set limit, in which case that is a good time to apologize by way of reassuring the child of your good intent. A good way to reassure a child of your good intent is to say "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you yourself ever lose your cool, you should definitely apologize to your child, and then commit never to losing your cool ever again, as losing your cool as a parent, in and of itself, is entitlement. Most back talk simply involves a child not being able to accept a limit, and thus they need you to apologize whenever you hurt their feelings in that regard. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandment, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan ways of parenting, which were punitive in nature. Paul, contrary to popular legend, opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Back talk is not something to take personally in a child. All back talk amounts to in an older child is a child not being able to accept a set limit. This behavior is most common in school age children. Whenever your child talks back, take a deep breath, and know that your child simply needs help accepting a limit. One way to help them is to apologize for upsetting them with that limit that they cannot accept.

The main reason for spanking, now and in Ancient Greece, is "disrespect" in a child. Children in Ancient Greece were usually given a spanking to the bare bottom when children talked back. Paul would have none of it in the church, and so he convicted the Greek Christians of their punitive pagan ways of parenting with his inspired pen.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!