Separation anxiety: Why children sometimes cry seemingly out of nowhere

Many parents punish their children crying for seemingly no reason at all. This is a common and normal situation for parents to be in with their children. However, the fact of the matter is that crying always has a reason behind it. The most common reason for children to cry is separation anxiety. 

Providing children with a secure attachment is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for their child, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works here refers to doing good things for a child, meeting the child's every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46; 1 Cor. 13:4-8.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were initially charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating the child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writing. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

Many times, children seem to cry out of nowhere. However, Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than today's parents that all crying has a reason behind it. The most common reason for children to cry is separation anxiety. Most children under age 6 experience separation anxiety, and this is a normal stage of childhood development. When this separation anxiety lasts past age 6, it then becomes separation anxiety disorder. 

Children growing up in the Early Church were deathly afraid of mom "going away and never coming back". When separated from mom, children cried a deathly, screeching cry that no loving mother could ignore. Christian mothers tended to the cries of children by cooing at children before picking them up. From there, mothers were pressured by the cry to meet the child's vulnerable need, scrambling to figure out why that child won't stop crying. The child only stopped crying when their every vulnerable need was met. 

Christian parents in the Early Church knew more than parents today that the main reason for children crying was separation anxiety. Christian parents in the Early Church knew then that children had five main categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment! When children cried seemingly out of nowhere, the first place Christian mothers looked in terms of needs is attachment. Separation anxiety was usually the need that needed to be met, with children under age 6 crying out loud when mom as little as left the room.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!