Why to catch children being good (as opposed to catching them being bad)

Many parents think that child discipline is necessary. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, most parents equate discipline with punishment. However, the fact of the matter is that proper discipline involves catching children in the context of being good, as opposed to catching them being bad.

Catching children being good is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV: 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, meaning parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely  nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to, in this context, gently melding the countenance of children, into the example of parents. In light of stanza 1 of Eph. 6:4, this can only mean one thing - lavish praise and encouragement when children were caught in the act of good behavior. Whenever children were caught in the act of being good, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children learned good behavior from the Christian example of parents. However, parents backed up their good example with lavish praise and encouragement, as opposed to harsh punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what children saw in the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This religious instruction, and the praise and encouragement coming with it, was ultimately what centered the countenance of children. Children today also have the Internet to help them understand religion, and the idea is to leave them explore as they wish. They may not pick your choice of religion, but at least they have values. Whenever you see them on a Christian website, praise and encourage their choice of religion. If they don't find values that you see as appropriate, ignore them.

What should parents do when their children act "naughty". The fact of the matter is that children in biblical times were never punished for "bad" behavior. Instead, behaviors we see today as "naughty" were seen as normal childhood behavior given the child's age and development. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, with the rest of childhood entailing children roaming freely in play. In most cases, children developed self-control at the age of 6, and that is when that they, in most cases, want to learn religion. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!