Many parents think that children need discipline. This is a common belief amongst parents. It is true that children need discipline. However, punishment is not a valid form of discipline. Instead, children should be disciplined by being caught in the act of being good.
Child discipline is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.
The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to gently melding the countenance of children. In light of stanza 1 of Eph. 6:4, this melding of the countenance can only mean one thing - lavish praise and encouragement when children were caught in the act of good behavior. Whenever children were caught in the act of being good, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with phrases such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learn good behavior from the Christian example of parents. However, parents backed up their good example with praise and encouragement, and not punishment and harshness. Children also need religious instruction, as religion as a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction started with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, based off of the text. Fathers were quick to give pointers on the context. This religious instruction, alongside all praise and encouragement, was what ultimately what centered the countenance of children.
What should parents do when children are acting naughty instead of nice. Most childhood behaviors that adults call "naughty" are actually developmentally appropriate behavior. Children under age 6 lack the ability for self-control, and are all over the place in terms of emotions. Children don't gain the ability to control their own behaviors until age 6. Thus, there is no need for punishment or force anywhere in Christian parenting.
Fathers kept their distance from children during the first 6 years of childhood. This is because fathers had a sexual attachment to their children. However, it is a myth that fathers did "hand-me-down-the-slate" gaslighting in biblical times. Instead, fathers masturbated righteously to sexual thoughts of their children. The Greek root word denoting "lust" is έπιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, but instead refers to sexual entitlement. It is okay to look the look, and even think the think later. However, if you find yourself doing the deed, then you shouldn't even approached her. Doing the deed was defined then as any flirting or propositioning at minimum, or else touching the child anywhere on their body with sexual intent. The only way out of sexually abusing a child is in - meaning through masturbation. Child sexual abuse was rare in the biblical context, and so when it happened, it was a huge shock. Sexually abusive fathers then were put to death by way of burning at the stake. In Leviticus 18:17, "mother and her daughter" refers to the old tradition of mothers keeping daughters next to them at all times, meaning even if the daughter was away from the mother, it counted as an offense. The Law then was applied broadly, not narrowly. Most of the time in the Old Testament, the mother was right there with her daughter until adulthood.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Any comment that
1. Endorses child abuse (including pornography of such)
2. Imposes want to the point of imposition, meaning entitlement.
3. Contains self-entitled parent rhetoric, to the point of self-victimization
will not be published. Flexible application. Debate is allowed, but only civil arguments that presume the best of intentions in their opponent, on both sides.