Why to catch children being good (as opposed to catching them being bad)

Many parents think that children need discipline. This is a common belief amongst parents that children need discipline. However, most parents equate discipline and punishment. This is a common view of children coming from parents. However, the fact of the matter is that children need praise and encouragement, not punishment and controlling treatment.

Catching children being good is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with the, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any form of punishment in his secular writings. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of children in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) means melding the countenance of children. In the Hebraic context of the Bible, this could only mean one thing - lavish praise and encouragement when children were caught in the act of good behavior. This good behavior was ultimately learned from their parents' example. The Christian example of parents was ultimately backed up by the lavish praise and encouragement of parents, instead of the punishment and shaming of parents. This lavish praise and encouragement helped to center the countenance of children. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction first started with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, children talked about religion with parents in question and answer format. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to point out the context. 

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? Children growing up in the Early Church had a secure attachment with mothers. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness with mothers, meaning that wherever mom went, so did her child. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which is when most children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also being naked in the family home. This birth nudity setup helped facilitate skin-on-skin contact, with children getting rays of skin-on-skin from mothers throughout the day.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!