Temper tantrums: Why temper tantrums are not bad behavior

Many parents think that throwing temper tantrums at all is bad behavior. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish their children merely for throwing temper tantrums. However, the fact of the matter is that temper tantrums in children are normal and natural behavior for a child.

Temper tantrums require skin-on-skin treatment from mothers. This skin-on-skin treatment is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely on the parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40; 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context. as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed to any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Temper tantrums are not bad behavior. Instead of punishing children who were throwing tantrums, mothers in the Early Church cooed at their children before picking them up, thereby holding the child to her bosom in mammary closeness. From there, she diagnosed the need of the tantrumming child, and then met those needs. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period.

Whenever children who were milk-dependent cried, they were nursed to sleep through breastfeeding. The children were offered the teat of mothers even in public, with this breastfeeding setup ending when the child pushed away the teat of mothers. Most of the time, this refusal of the teat happened around age 2, but some children didn't push the teat away until age 6.

Children also cried in public as well as in private. To deal with the tears of children, mothers wrapped up their children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. From there, the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. The swaddling blankets were tied to the right breast of the mother, then across the dot to the left leg of the mother, or vice versa, or both in the case of twins. Whenever children cried, their cries were pacified by the swaddling blankets, so only the mother could hear the child and coo at her child, before meeting the need diagnosed accordingly. The swaddling blankets were made of velvet, which was commonly grown throughout the Ancient Middle East.

Cooing is a primal vocalization uttered by mothers. The purpose of cooing at children is to put them at ease. Cooing at children pacifies their cries, and from there, mothers diagnosed the need and then met it. Children with verbal skills will then state what they need verbally in most cases. Children usually cry because they want their needs to be heard. Cooing lets children know that they are being heard, and that their emotional welfare matters.

Most temper tantrums happen because of the word "no" being used overzealously. The way around this is for children to hear your "yes" far more often then your "no". In most cases, under customary law, saying the word "no" to a child was forbidden. The only reasons a parent could say "no" was when the petitioned request was unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. Even then, most parents found room to compromise with their child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!