Righteous pampering: Why God wants parents to pamper their children

Many parents think that children need to learn hard lessons. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents do not even want to be seen as pampering their children. Yet, this righteous pampering is what the Bible teaches, when understood in context. Parents are to pamper and baby their children when using the context as a guidepost. 

Righteous pampering is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof in this mutual submission relationship falling squarely on the parent. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40; 25:31-46. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Righteous pampering does not simply refer to pampering children any old way, but in a certain specific way. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mothers went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or else on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at her children before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed the need and then met it. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. When mothers and children under age 6 were out and about in public, mom wrapped up the child next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin warmth happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which is when children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked when in the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup helped easily facilitate skin-on-skin contact between mothers and children, with children receiving their dosage of skin-on-skin closeness every time they were even picked up. 

When children were aged past age 6, they played freely outside, naked. Children ventured farther and farther from home, exploring the terrain, playing high-risk games such as "marriage". However, children needed to check in with mom before they went out exploring the terrain. Come nightfall, children were called by name, one by one, and were treated to a warm, homecooked dinner on a porcelain plate. Then, children retreated to co-sleeping warmth between mother and child, recharging for another day of active play. 

Children under age 6 were kept indoors with mom because they could not appreciate the dangers of the outside world. In the Early Christian context, the dangers facing children included venomous snakes and scorpions, with there being no antivenom to counter the venomous bite. Today, dangers for young children under age 6 consist of busy streets and oncoming traffic. Children under age 6, in most cases, cannot possibly understand that the street is dangerous, and so they need constant closeness with mothers. This constant closeness also helped gel a secure bond between mother and child, with children needing mom due to having separation anxiety. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!