Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.
Righteous pampering does not mean any old pampering, but pampering children in a certain specific way, based off of the context. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mothers went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or else on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following mom from room to room, not letting mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at their children before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed the need and then met the need. When mother and children under age 6 were out and about in public, mom wrapped up her young child next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - being tucked underneath the loose -fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin co-sleeping warmth happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which was when most children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked when within the confines of the family. This birth nudity setup facilitated easy skin-on-skin contact between mother and child, with children receiving skin-on-skin friction every time they were picked up by mothers.
Children past age 6 were allowed to play freely outside, naked. Children in biblical times ventured farther and farther from home, exploring the terrain, playing high-risk games such as "marriage". However, children needed to check in with mom first, and tell her where they were going. Come nightfall, children were called by name, one by one, and then were given a home cooked meal by mom. From there, children co-slept next to mothers in order to recharge for the next day of free play.
Children under age 6 were not allowed to play freely outside, and instead were protected in a sheltering way. In biblical times, children faced hazards such as venomous snakes and scorpions, with there being no antivenom back then for when the snake or scorpion bit their child. Today, the hazards are different yet the same - busy streets and oncoming traffic. Most children don't understand the dangers of the world outside the family home until after turning age 6. Most children wanted to constantly be with mom anyway, until they grew out of their separation anxiety around age 6.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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