Righteous pampering: Why God wants you to pamper your children

Many parents think that pampering children is the irresponsible choice to make. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents punish and reprimand their children, usually based on the false notion that children need harsh discipline. Religion is a common excuse for child abuse such as punishments and reprimands. However, the fact of the matter is that God wants parents to pamper and baby their children, using the context as a guidepost.

Righteous pampering is how parents brought up their children in biblical times. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40; 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they got wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Righteous pampering is not just any pampering, but pampering coming from a specific historical context. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to their mothers, meaning that wherever mothers went, so did their child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following mom from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever a child cried, mothers were quick to coo at their children before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed and met the need. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. When mothers and children under age 6 were out and about, mom wrapped up her child next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child in them - tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin co-sleeping happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which is when children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup helped facilitate easy skin-on-skin contact, with children experiencing skin-on-skin friction every time they were picked up. 

Past age 6, children were allowed to play freely outside, naked. Children ventured farther and farther from home, exploring the terrain, playing high-risk games such as "marriage". Children, however, had to check in with mom first, and tell her where they were going. Come nightfall, children were called one by one, to be treated to a nice, warm dinner cooked by mom. From there, children co-slept next to mothers in order to recharge for a next day of free play. Children did not go to school in biblical times, and instead learned through free play and natural curiosity.

Children under age 6 were kept from playing freely because they did not understand the dangers that they might encounter. A common threat to children in biblical times was venomous snakes and scorpions. Even today, there are threats to children that they wouldn't recognize - namely busy streets and oncoming traffic. Most children under age 6 are too young to understand the threats that the outside world poses to them. Christian parents in the Early Church protected their children in a sheltering way, holding their children close and babying them for the first 6 years of childhood.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!