Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents think that punishing children is acceptable as a way to discipline children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents use the Bible as an excuse for abuse. The false doctrine of "biblical spanking" is hinged on one passage taken out of context - Heb. 12:5-8.

God's Word states in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth wirh you as sons, for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastiisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting to me. This passage was intended as comfort for the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoό) and can have a figurative meaning to it. This passage is about enduring all odds, meaning enduring hardship. The Hebrew Christians were persecuted by Rome, and Paul was validating with rod language how they felt about their persecution, which is a lot like being whipped. Rod language involves using the rod as a metaphor for enduring hardship. If you had a long day at work in the Early Church, you said "God whipped me hard today". Today, in this context, we say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

God whips His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations their way. However, God whips His children only when it doesn't harm them. However, earthly parents only whip their children when it does harm them. Due to the flawed nature of earthly parents, earthly parents are to raise their children as comes naturally, meaning attachment parenting.

The passage in Heb. 12:5-8 is not about earthly parenting. However, there are passages in the Bible addressed to earthly parents. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That is may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their child just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt: 222-35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law to a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here, in this context, to modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore being grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged children with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise by fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given a kiss to the forehead from fathers when caught being good. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started out with parents leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught reading the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what children read in the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers were quick to give pointers on the context. Religious development is a part of child development, as religion is a human need for both children and adults alike. Young children - past age 6 - develop simplistic religious beliefs non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. However, as children get older, they start to grow towards a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religion you would choose, but at least they have values.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her around from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mothers would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers were quick to coo at their children before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed the need and met that need. When out and about in public, mothers wrapped up children under age 6 to her bosom in swaddling blankets, and from there the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembles an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with that co-sleeping warmth happening every night, until the child reached the onset of puberty, which is when most children wanted their own place to sleep. Children in biblical times went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup helped facilitate skin-on0skin contact whenever the child was picked up, with skin-on-skin friction happening every time mom picked up her children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!