The word "no": Why it should be used seldom (meaning almost never)

Many parents think that children need to hear the word "no" often. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents say "no" for every little thing. The fact of the matter, however, is that children need to hear the word "no" seldom, meaning almost never. Children should instead hear the word "yes" often.

Frequent use of the word "yes" is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: as is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the family home. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The word "no" was used seldom by parents in the Early Church, meaning almost never. Children were instead the ones giving the orders. Children in biblical times were the ones to call the shots. Parents then were required to say "yes" to pretty much anything the child wanted, and everything that the child needed, as per the customary law of the time. The only reasons that parents were allowed to say "no" was when children were issuing orders that were unworkable and/or immoral. Even then, parents were required to explain their reason for the word "no", and then reassure the child as a token of apology for offending them.

The word "no" should be used rarely, meaning almost never. Even in the case that a child wants an expensive bicycle in Wal-Mart, most parents can simply wait until payday to get the bicycle for them. They may want the bicycle "right now", but then you can count with them the days until payday. If they are asking to buy candy or snacks, let them, as most parents can afford a small snack for their children. 

The word "no" was used by the Early Christians almost never in parenting. Many times, when children were taken out and about to market in the Early Church, children oftentimes wanted food that looked good to them on the stand. Mothers didn't hesitate to get the piece of produce for their child. In most cases, that's all the child wanted. Sometimes, children wanted a pet lamb from market, and mothers usually bought the lamb for their child, without slaughtering it later.

Whenever children cried due to the word "no" being used, mothers immediately cooed at their children before picking them up. This righteous reassurance served as a token of apology for offending the child. Children who could not accept the word "no" were held in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup facilitated easy skin-on-skin sustaining warmth, with children experiencing skin-on-skin contact whenever the mother picked them up. Skin-on-skin mammary closeness was how children were reassured in biblical times. If the child was milk-dependent, they were breastfed right there and then to sleep, including even in public.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!