Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents still support punitive parenting for children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parents defend their so-called "right" to punitively discipline their children by taking Bible verses out of context. One passage misused by punitive parents is Hebrews 12:5-8. This passage is the cornerstone of pro-spanking advocacy. However, it is gravely misused by most pro-spanking parents.

God's Word says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

This passage, when interpreted properly, is comforting to me. This passage was intended as comfort to the Hebrew Christians who were being persecuted by Rome. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó), with this word being able to be used in a figurative tense. This form of metaphor is called rod language, where the rod of correction used in the 40 minus 1 lashes is used as a metaphor for enduring hardship. The modern way to sum up Heb. 12:5-8 is the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". When you got home from a long day at work, you instead said in the Early Church "God whipped me hard today".

God whips His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of the children He loves the most. But, God only whips His children when it doesn't harm them, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it does harm them. Due to the flawed nature of earthly parents, earthly parents are to bring up their child as comes naturally, meaning attachment parenting.

Heb. 12:5-8 does not even refer to earthly parenting. However, there are passages that have to do with proper Christian parenting. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment ultimately comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here, in this context, to modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praise and encouraged with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise by fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given a kiss to the forehead by fathers when caught being good. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught exploring the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, based off of what children saw in the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. Religious development is a part of child development, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. Young children - past age 6 in most cases - form simplistic religious beliefs non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. However, as they get older, they start to grow towards conforming to a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religion you would choose, but at least they have values.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between the ages of 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not letting mom outside of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom will "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at their children before picking them up, and from there, mom diagnosed the needs of the child. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. When children under age 6 were out and about with mothers, mom wrapped up her child next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, and from there, the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin co-sleeping closeness happening every night, until the child reached the onset of puberty, which was when most children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity setup facilitates easy skin-on-skin sustaining warmth, with even picking up a child leading to skin-on-skin contact between mother and child.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!