Why to catch children being good (and not catch them being bad)

Many parents think that children need discipline. This is a common excuse for punishment and reprimands towards children by parents. Most American parents believe that discipline and punishment are the same thing. However, this view is alien to the Bible, as understood in its context. Parents are instead to catch their children being good.

Child discipline, as understood in the biblical context, is spelled out in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offenses, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children in his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children then following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good by fathers, whereas girls were given a kiss to the forehead when caught being good by fathers. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started by leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were first caught reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what children saw in the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers were quick to give pointers on the context. Religious development is a part of child development, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. Young children - past age 6 - develop simplistic religious beliefs that are non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. However, as children grow older, they start to conform to a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religion you would choose, but at least they have values. A parent can filter their children's choices to Christianity by only leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore.

How do you motivate children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start with children having a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her around from room to room, not letting mom out of their sight, morbidly fearing that mom will "go away and never come back". Whenever a child cried, mothers immediately cooed at the child before picking them up, then diagnosing the need from there. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. Whenever mothers were out and about with mothers, they wrapped up their children - under age 6 - next to her bosom. From there, the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format every night, until the onset of puberty, which was when children, in most cases, wanted a place of their own to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers also being naked within the confines of the family home, with this birth nudity facilitating quick and easy skin-on-skin warmth and closeness - the child just had to be picked up, and then they were nice and cozy warm.

Mothers nurtured from up close, and fathers nurtured from afar. Mothers nurtured in a sustaining way, giving children lots of skin-on-skin time with them. Fathers nurtured from a distance, in a teaching way that encouraged good traits in children. Fathers were distant from their children, however, because of a sexual attachment towards their children, especially daughters. However, fathers were not allowed any "icing on the cake" and instead masturbated righteously. The most a Christian father could hope for is his daughter enjoying being naked for him, because otherwise they were well taken care of. When a father masturbates righteously - meaning to stay out of trouble - they improve their bond with both their sons and daughters. A father's attraction to his children should be connotational, not driven, and if it is driven, maybe you need to watch where your feet are, and masturbate later. Sexual entitlement is denoted by the Greek root word έπιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and is defined as, officially speaking, sexual want, to the point of sexually motivated approach.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!