Preventing public meltdowns: What to do about public meltdowns

Many parents think that public meltdowns are bad behavior. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents take up the attitude that they should punish their children when their child acts up in the store, and throws a temper tantrum.

Preventing public meltdowns is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical time as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Children kicking and screaming in public was almost non-existent in biblical times. That is because mothers of young children - under age 6 - wrapped up their young children next to her bosom in swaddling blankets. From there, children - and the swaddling blankets with them - were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress of mothers that resembled an apron. The swaddling blankets were tied from the left breast, then across the dot to the right leg, or vice versa, or both in the case of twins. Children, from there, cried silently, not loudly, while otherwise being at ease with the world around them, feeling safe in the sustaining warmth of mothers. When children did cry, mothers held the child closer to her bosom, before diagnosing the need. The swaddling blankets were made of velvet, which was grown throughout the Ancient Middle East.

The main reason children cry in public, however, is that they aren't allowed something they really want. In the Early Church, children got most of what they wanted, and all of what they needed. When a child wanted something at market, mothers always got them what they wanted. Today, this can be applied as when a child wants something, give it to them. Children need to hear "no" seldom, meaning almost never. The only way that a "no" is necessary is when the want from a child is unworkable and/or immoral. 

However, public meltdowns might happen due to a multitude of factors. Maybe the child is tired. Maybe the child is hungry. Maybe the child needs mom's milk. Maybe the child needs mom, period. In the Early Church, mothers would usually take their children out to market with them, with the older children being more free range, and children under age 6 being swaddled to the bosom of mothers. When a child cried out of nowhere, mothers took the time to diagnose the need. If the child wanted something at market, mothers always obliged. Most of the time, however, things at market were inexpensive. If a child today wants a $100 game system from Wal-Mart, maybe you should say "wait until next pay day" instead of barking "no" at them. Leave your "no" for when your daughter brings home a boy that has sex on the brain.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!