"Benign" depravation: Why children need all of what they need

Many parents buy into the idea of "benign" deprivation. This is where some of children's needs are turned down to make room for what a child "really" needs. Most parents in America use "benign" deprivation as an excuse for abusing a child. The fact of the matter is that children need all of what they need, and also should get most of what they want as well.

"Benign" deprivation is a violation of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV: 

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

"Benign" deprivation is all about denying children their needs, meaning not meeting some of the child's needs in order to deal with what the child "really" needs. However, mothers in biblical times met the EVERY need of a child. This meant providing birth nudity to children under age 6, where mothers were in constant closeness to their children in the nude, with this birth nudity facilitating easy skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. All the mother had to do was pick up a crying child, and the child then was in skin-on-skin warmth and sustenance with children. 

The key part of the false doctrine of "benign" deprivation is the frequent use of the word "no". Children should hear the word "no" rarely, meaning almost never. Children in biblical times got most of what they wanted, and everything that they needed. When children heard the word "no" and couldn't accept that word, they were reassured and validated by mothers. Parents in biblical times were only allowed to say "no" when the child was petitioning something unworkable and/or immoral. 

A child has 5 main categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with attachment being the greatest of these categories of needs! Your child is counting on YOU to meet all of those needs. Sleep falls under attachment needs, as a child should take a nap or go to sleep next to their mother.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever!