Honor parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents want to be honored. Most American parents feel entitled to being honored and respected. This is a common desire for American parents. The most common reason for punishment of children in America is "talking back" to parents. However, the commandment to honor parents simply means don't dishonor them. It doesn't mean that you can't disagree with your parents.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long on the land that the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment only applies to adult children, referring to the parent protection laws. At the bare minimum, dishonoring parents means striking them (see also Exod. 21:15), gaslighting them to send them places (see also Lev. 20:9), and committing crimes in their name (see also Deut. 21:18-21). The Fifth Commandment only protects parents from clear elder abuse. Apart from that, honor and respect from parents is earned. Parents are there for their children to use at their own benefit. However, there is such a thing as overstaying your welcome, and that is where the parent protection laws come in.

The best way to understand the Fifth Commandment is through the commandment for children not to hit their parents. Most all children strike out at their parents from time to time. You can use your parents for pretty much anything, like a sponge or a milking-cow. However, parents are not to encourage children striking out at them. The solution is righteous wailing, where the parent who was struck cried out loud, and then the child usually cried as well. That was likely the last time a child struck out at parents. Most children who strike out at parents don't want to make their parents cry, but instead simply want to be heard in the wrong way.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman parents got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

Respect for parents was a thing in biblical times, but came from closeness to parents, not fear of parents. During the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on her back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing  mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed before picking up the child, and from there, diagnosed the need of the child. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. When mothers were out and about with their children, they were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, then tucked underneath her loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping lasting until the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep. 

Children, once they turned age 6, were allowed to play outside freely, while naked. But, first, children had to check in with mom. Children traveled farther and farther from home, exploring the terrain, playing high-risk games such as "marriage", with "marriage" being a role-play of a wedding ceremony. But, at the end of a day's play, children were called by name, one by one, for a nice warm dinner cooked by mom. Then, children recharged by co-sleeping next to mom in skin-on-skin format. This context can be applied today as allowing children to play outside freely until the street lights turn on.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!