Childhood bipolar disorder: How to discipline a child with bipolar disorder

Many clinicians will say the same thing about bipolar disorder in children - don't attempt to discipline them until after they are medicated. It is true that children with bipolar disorder respond better to discipline after they are medicated. However, there are disciplinary techniques that can be used when a child is active in their bipolar disorder.

With most psychoses such as bipolar disorder, children have moments of clarity, and that is what you praise and encourage. This praise and encouragement is especially meaningful coming from an attachment figure. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman parents got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The standard of Christian discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. When children were caught being good, they were praised and encouraged to keep up the good work. Whenever children with bipolar disorder have a moment of clarity, and you notice such, praise and encourage them with phrases such as "I see you being good". You can also sportscast what their moment of clarity looks like, and why they should have more of them. You may find that they are more easygoing if you praise and encourage them frequently.

With bipolar disorder, it is most important to keep your child safe. They may be depressed one time, and then in the very next instance are manic. Bipolar mania is a lot like ADHD, but on steroids. It also comes with grandiose thoughts, and even delusions of grandiosity. Depression is usually expressed by statements such as "I hate myself" or "I wish I was dead". Both moods can lead to high-risk behavior, and thus children with bipolar disorder need constant supervision.

Thankfully, children with bipolar disorder usually want to be with mothers. They feel free to express all of their feelings with their mothers. In a mixed episode, they may feel safe unleashing their rage onto mom, with mothers being treated as a human punching bag. When children strike out at you, you as a parent should cry, and exclaim "You hurt me! You hurt me!". That should be the last time they ever hit you, or else one of the last times that they hit you. 

Most children with bipolar disorder have an insecure attachment to mothers, meaning even as teenagers, they want mom, like they are attached at the hip. This sort of behavior is understandable in early childhood, but if it happens past age 6, they have a disorder that needs to be addressed. Separation anxiety disorder often comes with bipolar disorder in children. The reason is because mom's bosom is the only source of calm for a child with bipolar disorder.

When you battle with any child, they battle you back, in some way, in some form. Children with bipolar disorder simply make this more obvious. I myself have childhood bipolar disorder, but with the disorder in remission due to medication. I myself experienced adults trying to be controlling with me, and then I just fought back. With the teachers that didn't battle me, I was simply goofy in a prideful way. I heard from gentle parents that raised children with bipolar disorder that their child is simply goofy and grandiose when manic. When you punish a child with bipolar disorder, they seek to punish back. This is called the counterwill, and all humans have it, some more than others. 

How should a parent view their child with bipolar disorder? It is a tragic fate for a child to develop bipolar disorder. Childhood bipolar disorder is NOT a form of neurodiversity, but is a serious mental illness that is haunting to their parents and caregivers. It is not just a little energy when they are manic, but literally feels to the sufferer that they are out of control, with the sufferer only noticing once put on mood stabilizers.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!