Change of heart: How to effect a change of heart in a child (without punishment or force)

Many parents want to see a change of heart in their children. This is a common wish on the part of many parents nationwide. However, most parents who want a change of heart try to break the will of the child. However, there are better ways to effect a change of heart in a child. Instead of punishment and force, try praise and encouragement. 

A change of heart is an outcome coming from the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman parents got out the scourge of cords, in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted due to being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in the family home. The standard of Christian discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, instead of being caught being bad. Whenever a child was caught showing good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised by fathers with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good by fathers, whereas girls were given a kiss to the forehead when caught being good by fathers. Children also needed religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instructed started with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught reading the Bible, they were given praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based on what children saw in the text of the Bible. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers were quick to point out the context. 

Religious development is a part of child development, with religion being a human need for children and adults alike. At first, children's religious beliefs are non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. But, as they got older, they start to conform to a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religion you hoped for them, but at least they have values.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or else on her back in a papoose bag. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their sight, with children morbidly fearing mom "going away, and never coming back". Whenever children cried, mothers were quick to coo at their children, putting children at ease. From there, mothers diagnosed the need, and met it. Mothers, when out and about in public, wrapped up their children in swaddling blankets, before tucking them underneath her loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping ending when children reached the onset of puberty, when they wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, and mothers went naked only within the household, with this setup facilitating skin-on-skin warmth and sustenance.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!