Attention-seeking behavior: What drives attention-seeking behavior (and what to do about it)

Many parents have to deal with it. Most parents, at some point, find their children as wanting attention. This is normal behavior in children. Why would a child demand attention? Attention is a core need among children, and is the core of a child's attachment needs. Children demand attention because they need it, not simply because they want it.

Giving children loving attention is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman parents got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted due to being "too soft" on their children.

Children have five main categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment! A core attachment need for a child is attention. When children act up or engage in mischief, and seems that they are begging for attention, that is because they are, in fact, begging for attention - because they need attention in order to survive as children.

Children, in biblical times, usually cried out because they needed attention. When children cried out for attention, mothers cooed at children, before picking them up, holding the child in her loving arms. Children were in constant closeness to mothers during the first 6 years of childhood. During the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held, either in mom's loving arms, or else on the back of mothers in a papoose bag. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, with children morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Children need attention, and that is because they need to know that mom won't be harmed, and will always be there for her children. Most children who need constant attention are in fact afraid of mothers "going away and never coming back". 

Cooing is a primal vocalization on the part of mothers. The intent behind cooing at children is to put children at ease. Whenever they are begging for attention, coo at children before picking them up. Cooing was a way that Christian mothers in the Early Church communicated to children that their cries for help have been heard, and that mom isn't going away.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!