Separation anxiety: Why children cry out of nowhere

Many parents have been there. A child cried for seemingly no reason. This is a common thing that American parents have to deal with. However, there is always a reason for a child crying. What is the most common reason for a young child to cry? They need YOU!

Dealing with separation anxiety is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, where children surrendered to the loving arms of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman parents got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted for being "too soft" on their children.

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of child development, lasting from birth until age 6. Children in the Early Church were in constant closeness to mothers during the first 6 years of childhood, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were held constantly, either in mom's loving arms, or on her back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following mom from room to room, not letting her out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mothers would "go away and never come back". When children cried, and stopped immediately after being cooed at and picked up, the cry was seen as a cry for attachment. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers being naked only within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity facilitated sustaining warmth and closeness between mother and child.

There are five basic categories of needs in a child; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment! Why would a child cry out of nowhere? They need YOU and YOU only. The Early Christian mothers responded to the every need of a child, especially the attachment needs. All a child needs when they are crying, in most cases, is to be cooed at and picked up. Children usually need YOU to reassure them of your presence - that mom isn't going anywhere.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!