Why to catch children being good (as opposed to catching children being bad)

Many parents know that children need discipline. However, most parents believe that discipline and punishment are the same thing. Most parents insist on punishing their children. However, the Bible prescribes a different form of discipline - catching children being good.

Catching children being good is a teaching spelled out in the Bible, as interpreted in context. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish his children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted due to being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise from fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given a kiss on the forehead from fathers when caught being good. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. This started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible, for children to discover and explore. When children were first caught reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with phrases such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based on what children saw in the Bible. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers were quick to give pointers on the context. Religious development is part of child development. Children's religious beliefs start out being simplistic and non-conforming to any religious sect or denomination. But, as children got older, they started to grow towards a specific religious sect or denomination. It may not be what you wanted in your child, but at least they have values.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start with a secure attachment to mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mothers went, so did the child. For the first 2 years, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or in a papoose bag if her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mothers out of their sight, fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at their children before picking them up and holding them in mammary closeness. Children, in biblical times, went naked wherever they went, with mothers also being naked in the family home. After age 6, children played naked and freely outside, and continued playing until sundown. Then, children recharged by co-sleeping next to mothers, in skin-on-skin format. Co-sleeping occurred from day one, and in most cases lasted until the onset of puberty.

Mothers nurture from up close, whereas fathers nurture from afar. Fathers formed a secondary secure attachment to children. Fathers kept their distance, especially from younger children. This was because fathers had a sexual attachment to their children. Contrary to popular legend, fathers were forbidden under the Law from having their "icing on the cake". Fathers simply masturbated righteously to sexual thoughts of his child. Fathers did nurture, but in a teaching way, meaning catching a child being good and then praising them for it, encouraging good traits in children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!