Righteous pampering: Why God wants you to pamper your children

Many parents think children need pampering only some of the time, and that children otherwise shouldn't be "spoiled". There is a difference between spoiling your children and pampering them. God wants children to be pampered and babied, but in just the right way.

Righteous pampering is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on children.

God wants parents to pamper their children, but in just the right way, given the Audience that God writes to, and their customs. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of a child's life, children were constantly held, either in mom's arms, or on her back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were full. When children were aged 2-6, they ranged next to their mothers, following mom from room to room, not allowing mom out of their sight, with the child having a morbid fear of mom "going away and never coming back" Whenever children cried, mothers responded by cooing at their child, then holding their child in their bosom in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to their mother, in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping lasting until the onset of puberty. At puberty, children in most cases wanted to sleep on their own, which was the beginning of the end of closeness with mothers. Most mothers breastfed their children to sleep at night when their children were still milk-dependent. Same when summoned to breastfeed by their mothers.

Children - under age 6 - were also pampered when they left the home. When mothers were out and about, they swaddled their children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. From there, children were tucked underneath the mother's loose fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. When children were tucked beneath the mother's dress, they were tied from the left breast, across the dot to the right leg, or vice versa, or both in the case of twins. When children cried while swaddled, they cried silently, with mom tending to her child by holding the child closer to her bosom. The swaddling blankets were made of velvet, which was grown throughout the Ancient Middle East. 

Children over age 6 were allowed to play naked outside freely, venturing farther and farther from home. Children curiously explored the terrain, but only after checking in with mothers. When dinner time happened, children were called by name. Then, children recharged by sleeping next to mother in co-sleeping fashion

Children are not dogs to train. You don't own your child as a parent - your child owns you. That is Christian attachment parenting summed up. A parent is a bondservant to their child, waiting on their children hand and foot, expecting absolutely nothing in return. When you adopt a child, know that you don't really adopt a child - the child adopts you. Children may not thank you all the way, but it is still good to pamper and baby your children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!