Why parents should catch their children being good (as opposed to them being bad)

Many parents think proper discipline is catching the child in the act, then punishing them. This is a common method of discipline in American homes. Most parents punish their children when they act up. However, this method of child discipline is not biblical. Most Christian fathers in the Early Church instead praised and encouraged good behavior in children, and this method of discipline applies today.

Parents catching children being good is part of the mutual submission between parents and children. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their child one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, to modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in the footsteps of parents. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as taking turns, being patient, or showing self-control - children were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise by fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given a side embrace by fathers when caught being good. Children also needed religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. This started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible out for a child to discover and explore. When children were caught reading and studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with phrases such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers giving pointers on the context. 

Religious development is natural course of development that children go through on their own. Most children start their religious journey around age 6. Children's religious beliefs start out simplistic and non-conforming to any denomination. However, by the time they were 13, they naturally conformed to a specific religious denomination, usually by then electing to that denomination. Maybe it wasn't what you had hoped for, but at least they have values. Once you see a child emulating these good values, praise and encourage them to "keep up the good work". 

What motivates children to hear out the warning of their fathers? What better way than children forming a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of a child's life, children were constantly held, either in mom's arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were busy. When children were aged 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, with children not letting their mothers outside their line of sight, not even to go to the other room. When the mother left the line of sight of a child, the child cried a deathly, high-pitch cry. Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at them before picking them up, then holding the child in her bosom in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. When mothers were out and about with children, they swaddled their children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy, with co-sleeping ending, in most cases, when the child reached the onset of puberty, when they wanted their own place to sleep.

Mothers nurtured from up close, whereas fathers nurtured from afar. But, both parents nurtured in some way. Mothers were a provider of unconditional love, meaning maternal warmth and sustenance. The affection of fathers was more distant, in a teaching sort of manner, but even they found a way to dote on their children. It is a myth that fathers in biblical times sexually corrected children for crying too much. Most fathers had a child crush going, but kept it at the fantasy level, with fathers instead masturbating to sexual fantasies of their daughters especially, but sometimes their sons as well. Mothers did not have any sexual attachment to their children, and thus ended up in the protective role towards children much of the time. Most of the time, fathers were redirected towards masturbation by the woman of the house, with Christian women in the Early Church threatening divorce in many warnings format.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!