Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior (and what to do about it)

Many parents have to deal with it. A crying child. Most parents believe that children who cry should be punished. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents either ignore or punish a crying child, seeing such a child as manipulative. However, children cry for a simple reason - to advocate for vulnerable needs.

Providing for vulnerable needs is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the child. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women in the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted due to being "too soft" on their children.

Crying, in biblical times, was seen as an immature means of communication coming from a child. For the first 6 years of a child's life, mothers were in constant closeness with their children, meaning that wherever mothers went, so did her child. Whenever children cried in biblical times, mothers immediately cooed at their children, then picking up her child in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. When mothers went out and about in public, they swaddled their young children - age 6 and under - in swaddling blankets, holding their children closer to her bosom when the child cried, with the child hearing the heartbeat of their mother.

Mothers, in most cases, started out breastfeeding their children, with the breastfeeding stopping when the child refusing the nipple. Most children refused the nipple by age 2, and had to be soothed other ways beyond that point. Some children, however, didn't refuse the nipple until age 6, or in rare cases even later. 

Mammary closeness was the main method of reassuring children in biblical times. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children had a primal fear of mom "going away and never coming back". Children aged up to age 2 were constantly held by mothers, with mothers either cradling the child in their arms, or else wearing their child on their back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were full. Either way, children were given ample skin-on-skin time with mothers. Between ages 2 and 6, children ranged beside their mothers, only being held when crying, and then only in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. Children were held in constant mammary closeness when swaddled next to their mother's arms in public, with mothers holding their child even closer when they cried.

Crying is a developmentally appropriate behavior. The intent behind crying in a child is to communicate a need. Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - with the greatest of these needs being attachment! When a child cries, one of these needs is the reason for the crying. It is good to coo at your child to make them feel heard, and then give them nourishment and sustenance. When you can't think of any other reason for the crying, think attachment. Most children who cry out of nowhere want YOU, and that's all they want.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!