Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this passage is not a spanking passage

Many parents punish their children. This a common thing that parents do. Most parents who punish their children cite the Bible as their excuse for child abuse. However, the Bible never legitimately commands or advises any punishment of a child. 

God's Word reads in Hebrews 12:5-8

And ye have forgotten which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

This passage was written to a specific context, where the Hebrew Christians were being persecuted by broader Greco-Roman society, with this passage being intended as reassurance. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and here refers to, literally, the 40 minus 1 lashes, but was intended in figurative tense. The form of figurative language was known as rod language, meaning that in the Hebraic languages, you say "God whipped me hard today" when you had a long day at work. The biblical Greek also had rod analogies. God whips His children, like only He can. However, God only whips His children when it doesn't harm them, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it does harm them. Thus, earthly parenting should utilize attachment parenting in order. What the Apostle Paul was referring to here, in figurative language, was trials and tribulations, like only God can issue.

Heb. 12:5-8 has nothing to do with bringing up an earthly child. However, there are passages in the Bible that deal with parenting: See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents submit to children from beneath yet from above.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context. as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating children as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the parish at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children in his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords to punish their children

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging good Christian traits in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught being good, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught by their father being good, whereas girls were given snuggles and physical affection when caught by their father in being good. Sometimes, children needed direct instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning that parents could only give advice when needed, or else counsel their children when they were upset. 

Good discipline was motivated by a secure attachment between child and parent. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the went, so did the mother. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mothers and children were quartered in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever children cried, mothers cooed before responding to the every cry of children. When out and about, mothers swaddled their children next to their bosom, in swaddling blankets. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers, and did so until they reached the onset of puberty, which was when they wanted their own place to sleep. When children had this close bond, it helped gel a bond with fathers where children learned the facts of life, by way of children receiving praise and encouragement for good traits.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!