Christian attachment parenting: Why true Christian parenting is attachment parenting

Many parents want to bring up children as it was done in the Bible. This is a common parenting goal. Most punitive parenting in the United States comes from false religious advice telling parents to punish their children.

Christian attachment parenting is summed up by the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word refers to secure attachment, with secure attachment being a command from God. This comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children for beneath yet from above, as they would to God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating you child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the parish at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and took in a few orphaned children in his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, to modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children, in biblical times, children were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever a child was caught doing things such as showing patience or self-control, the child was given lavish praise and encouragement to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when their father caught them being good, whereas girls were given snuggles and other physical affection when their father caught them being good. Sometimes, children needed direct instruction from parents. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning that parents could only offer advice when necessary, or else counsel children when they are upset. Apart from that, parents were under the divine authority of their children.

Part of the unique form of attachment parenting known as Christian attachment parenting is how parents passed down the faith. Fathers left out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible out for children for stumble upon and explore. When children were caught by their fathers studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise of "that book is good for you". From there, religion was an active conversation in the family household, with children being eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers pointing out the context. This, alongside a disciplined example, made for a chastened up adult.

How were children motivated to heed the example and teachings of their parents? Children need a secure attachment to parents in order to be motivated to hear out their parents. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were quartered in the nude in the family home, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When mothers were out and about, their young children - under age 6 - were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers, in swaddling blankets. Children, in most cases, needed nourishment when they cried, with children usually being weaned from breastmilk at around age 6, but sometimes breastfeeding lasted until age 6 or even beyond - breastfeeding ends when the child pushes away the nipple. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This co-sleeping, in most cases, happened until the child reached the onset of puberty, which was when most children wanted their own place to sleep. 

Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting based off of the Early Christian context, which is stated in the Bible clearly. The centerpiece of Christian attachment parenting is the avoidance of parental entitlement, as opposed to imposing your wants onto your child. The Bible is a founding document of this country, even above the Constitution itself. The Bible says not to be entitled, and clarifies twice that if children even perceive offense from a child, and it comes from entitlement, that such constitutes child abuse.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!