Thanksgiving is fast approaching: How to teach your children to give thanks

'Tis the thanksgiving season. Thanksgiving is about sitting around the table and giving thanks to the: Lord Above. Most parents want their children to learn the concept of gratitude and thanksgiving. The bad news is that they won't get the message right away, but they will learn, eventually.

Children give thanks when they see parents giving thanks. This takes place within the context of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with a promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth, And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Parents are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and are to submit as such. Child surrender to parents came with strings attached on the part of parents, with children issuing righteous demands to parents, usually when parents weren't pulling their weight.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers.to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limit to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands  or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting. after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure got along with children, and even took in a few orphaned children in his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords on their children as punishment, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely hated due to being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught emulating the grateful example of parents, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise by fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given hugs and snuggles from fathers when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct instruction from parents. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning that parents are only allowed to give advice when needed, or else counsel their children when upset. Otherwise, parents were under the divine authority of parents.

Children should not be expected to be grateful from day one. Children usually want things. Why not indulge in the wants of children? Giving children what they want won't make them "spoilt" or "ungrateful". It will give them something to be grateful for, namely fond memories of being pampered by parents. The only time a parent should say "no" is when the child is asking for something immoral or unworkable.

There is one route to gratitude and thanksgiving - being convicted of your entitled existence. Knowing that you have an entitled existence implies knowing that you are a depraved and entitled sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing. When you come to the knowledge that you are deserving of absolutely nothing, and that the world owes you nothing, you look around you, and become grateful for absolutely everything. True gratitude is not an effusive reaction to getting what you want. All you need is a simple "please" and "thank you" to show gratitude. When you catch your children showing proper Christian manners, be sure to praise and encourage them.

What motivates children to follow in the footsteps of parents? Children need a secure attachment, primarily to mothers, and secondarily to fathers. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were quartered in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When children cried, mothers picked up the child before placing the child on her bosom, in skin-on-skin mammary comfort and intimacy. Children usually needed to be breastfed, and when that was the case, mothers breastfed her child to sleep. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with milk-dependent children being breastfed to sleep every night. This co-sleeping lasted until the child reached the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep.

Children do not show gratitude right away. The key sign of gratitude in children is manners. Children  develop manners on their own accord at around age 6-8, with the guidance of a grateful example from parents. Whenever you catch your child showing good manners, praise them and encourage them. Just look for your child calmly saying "please" when asking for something, and "thank you" when receiving something.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever--burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!